i was going to title this entry "stolen", but community seems more apropos. the following is a comment i posted on a friend's blog. i've been thinking about the topic all day, and i think the comment can stand alone, so i decided to repost it here with minimal modification.


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friendship. i really like friendship. my family doesn't really connect well, emotionally; and so the deepest love i know this side of heaven is that of friends. i really can't express how much i value a true, solid friendship.

i've never been a person interested in getting to know a whole lot of people in any given place. 'if you can't go deep, why bother?' is sort of my attitude. other people have other outlooks, and that is totally cool. but for me, given a small handful -- heck, maybe even only one, or two -- deep, life-giving friendships in any given place, and you will find one content mdog. people that are willing to encourage me and walk with me and call me out when necessary and love me when i don't deserve it... this is where healing is found.

this [small college town] is a bad town to be in, in terms of the likelihood of people leaving my life. i remember saying at one point, "i'm not going to get to know anyone else, because they're just going to leave, anyway!" i said this jokingly, but i mean, seriously: doesn't it feel rational some days? i admit i sometimes decide to not get close to someone because i know they're only here for a defined period of time. i'm still not sure if that's a sign of cowardice, or self-preservation.

i've felt my fair share of abandonment. the end of 2003 and much of 2004 was not what i would call the best time of my life. much of my support system had either moved away or were otherwise unavailable to me. at some point i started getting connected with others again; but i had to make efforts, many of which took me out of my comfort zones. i'm an introvert through and through... but even introverts need community and connection. i know relationships aren't going to be handed to me on a silver platter: after any initial easy connections, they take a certain amount of maintenance and thought to stay healthy. sometimes i feel left out of things. i think we all do. and then sometimes you have to take charge of your life and find or create situations where you can be open and available to people. and it's not always easy. but it's usually good.


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any thoughts on the subject of friendship? unleash.