so i got a new [to me] monitor today. it's larger than my old one, though not extraordinarily so. however, given its size, it sits far closer to me than my old one [yeah, it's an old school crt]. i now feel like my head is actually INSIDE THE SCREEN. i could take my contacts out and probably still be okay seeing this thing. i think i'm getting a headache.

and now for something completely mindless... i've been a little goopy around here lately. i think i saw this at suebob's? maybe. forever ago.

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Band for a Lifetime: Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY in titles of their songs.  i choose... derek webb.

 
so i usually don't do these sorts of things, but this one was kind of fun. join in if you want, or not. it's all good. 

"No... I agree... [saying 'i love you'] doesn't need to be this big deal... but it is a big deal. But for me, as was for you, it was also a realization that my life was better with her, than without her.

But I wish friends would tell each other more that they love each other as well..."

- from paul, via b109 

i've posted on this topic somewhat before, here. i'm also reminded of a question posed once in a small group, which was something to the effect of "do you tell people 'i love you' often?" on a different occasion, the question of the night was "what's the craziest thing you've ever done for love?"

okay. two immediate reactions to that question: 1) i've done plenty of silly, crazy things for people i love, and 2) i know for certain that my own answers don't answer the question that's actually being asked. because, of course, the question implied romantic love, and that's what we really mean when we ask questions like that without qualifying the word love somehow, right? and so, i decided i should sit and remain awkwardly, obviously, silent. i thought about saying the hell with it, i'll give an example of a crazy thing i've done for a friend. prove a point, you know? except someone else did that and the response was immediately questioned: "so... are you saying you were in love with your friend...?" granted, there may have been some translation issues if i remember correctly, but still. nope. huh-uh. definitely staying quiet on this one.

perhaps i'm just jaded. cynical. as stated elsewhere, friendship is overlooked and underappreciated. i originally had the word "often" nestled in there, but decided it was more truthful without. a few weeks ago i was at the library, wandering through the fiction aisles. to be quite honest, i was just looking for a book about friendships; a book that didn't revolve around marriage or casual sex or dating or any other various and sundry topics that i had no experience with or patience for reading about at the moment. not surprisingly, it took me a damn long time to find one. and even then it still wasn't quite what i was going for.

"friendship is a thing most necessary to life, since without friends no one would choose to live, though possessed of all other advantages."  -  aristotle 

but let's face it: phileo always ends up taking a backseat to eros. more than a little frustrating to those lacking their share of eros... but so it is. and in my honest moments, i sometimes wonder if my life would be easier if i didn't care so much; if i just let people come and go, indifferent to befriending acquaintances, just watching them wandering in and out of my social sphere. of course i know the answer to that is... yes. but that kind of life would really suck, wouldn't it?

my answer to the first ice breaker question was: yes and no. i don't go around telling everyone, all the time, cheapening it to a level along the lines of 'i love ice cream'. but with those people i DO choose to tell... i tend to say it often. and even then, it's probably far less frequent than i would like.

it's not a big deal... but it is a big deal. well said. i stand with paul.