last sunday was the super bowl, which involved a large variety of grilled food items at andy's uncle's house. it also included patriotic singing, commercials, a not amazing but not terrible halftime show, and, of course, actual football. but mostly the food was my focus. at least it was a pretty decent game, with not a lot of nonsense from either the referees or the participants.

monday was not a typical day. i worked from home, due to both the furnace and computer guys coming out that day. the furnace guys showed up around 9:45a, and after a brief rundown of parts and pieces and paperwork, they set about dismantling the furnace and installing the new. instead of the upstairs office, i set up shop at the kitchen table on the main level, which is how i learned that the main furnace guy is definitely an extrovert. holy cow. i'm just trying to work here. he was a good dude, it was just a little much every time he came up from the basement or in from the truck or whatever. i mean, about three hours in, as i was eating my lunch, he was showing me pictures of his kids. okay then. this sort of turned into uncomfortable questions about kids, which turned into uncomfortable answers involving cancer, which at some point later in the afternoon turned into the other furnace guy, on his way upstairs to the bathroom, relaying a story about his mentor who had breast cancer and died from chemo, or not taking his medication afterwards, it was a little unclear. i had this feeling when he started talking that that was where the story was going to end up, and i just laughed internally as it happened. normally i would point out, hey, pro tip, DON'T share stories of dead cancer patients to alive cancer patients, because, duh? but he was really just a young guy trying his best to relate. i gave him a pass. i do have to say i think it was actually the first time anyone has mindlessly shared such a story with me upon hearing of my diagnosis (other than family, because obviously genetic history is important), which says a lot about the wisdom of the people in my life. so, kudos to all of you!

anyway, i'm getting off track here. at around 2:30p, the dell tech guy showed up, so i switched to my old laptop (SO SLOW LORD HAVE MERCY) while he replaced the motherboard. he had unfortunately never received any messages regarding me wanting to replace the hard drive, and he was reluctant to replace it, as he was really a hardware guy, and didn't have any means of loading the windows 10 operating system back onto the new hard drive. i was more than a little upset about this, but once he realized i wasn't totally useless regarding computers, we figured out a work around. he replaced the hard drive, showing me how to do it in case i needed to switch it back to the old one (with a functioning windows 10). meanwhile, the furnace guys are finishing up during all this, so i am trying to close all the circuits at the same time. i manage to sign off on both repairs and the house is empty (but now warming up!). i have logged out of work due to all the activity, and spend the rest of the day and evening trying to get my laptop back up and running with windows 10 via a bootable usb drive. long story short, that does not happen on monday, but it does happen on tuesday, though things are a little buggy until saturday. i think all is well, and i have not seen the blue screen of death for a couple of days now.

so tuesday and wednesday were spent working on getting my laptop in shape again. thursday evening, andy and i enjoyed some indian food at aab grandview. it was sort of a late birthday celebration, as illness and holidays had teamed up to prevent a proper dinner out. birthday donuts were procured at dk diner on the way home.

friday was pretty chill. leftover aab, and then going old school and playing guitar hero. we also played a game called watergate, which is an amusing theme, as you are either the nixon administration or journalists. i was not very good at it, and lost both times, so i was pretty grumpy about it by the end. sorry andy!

saturday, i headed to franklinton to help out at a work day for church; not our usual sunday location, but an older umc church building where there are several ministries working out of it to help those in need. i had packed up my painting supplies and toolbox, not sure what to anticipate, but as it turned out, most of my morning was spent helping to clean out a closet in the church basement. WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT. and there was plenty to throw out. our team did well at winnowing all the old junk. there was also some piano moving and bathroom cleaning, and then after some pizza and salad for our efforts, it was back home for me. the rest of the day involved a nap, board game, dinner at home, and starting to watch arrested development from the beginning. we have both watched the series, but not for quite awhile, and not together. so expect random bluth family quotes from me in the coming weeks.

today was church, lunch with andy's family, grocery shopping, dinner, and... taxes! good times! so Week 24 was basically not too cancery, which is a nice change of pace. this week will involve an appointment with dr. h, the surgeon, who i haven't seen since september. we will see what she thinks of post-chemo me, and what the plan is for surgery. good times. let's do this.

well. it's been quite a week here in Cancer Land. let's catch up, shall we?

in non-cancer news, i have been trying for the last week or two to figure out why all the usb ports on my new (in october) laptop have stopped working. after a couple of tech support phone calls and troubleshooting, the answer i received on monday is that, well, they simply stopped working. okay, great. we'll send a technician out to replace the motherboard? under warranty? yes, please. wait! while the tech is here, can he upgrade my (too small) hard drive? yes, of course, if you will have a drive there waiting for the tech? yes, sure, no problem. so i ordered a new (much larger capacity) hard drive, telling andy my task for the week is to back my files up to my external hard drive before the switch. my smart husband asks how i am going to do that without functioning usb ports? GOOD QUESTION, HUSBAND. i attempt to make it happen using google drive and my old laptop and lots of zip files, but realize it will take until spring to complete it this way, and the tech is coming next monday. andy suggests a wifi based external hard drive, which i did not know was a thing that existed. this seems to be the best option, so we decide that that will be a task for thursday, since the oncologist's office is near micro center.

tuesday is fairly uneventful, the evening involves board games with some of andy's coworkers. as the night is winding down, i find myself feeling stuffy and developing a cough and i am not happy about this because it feels similar to what i had several weeks ago. i wake up wednesday morning and it has not gotten better, so i decide to stay home from work. the full day of rest and not talking and doing nothing strenuous seems to be a good decision, as i feel definitely not worse and probably slightly better by the end of the day.

thursday arrives: taxol, round 12. the final chemo infusion! we prepare as usual. numbing cream, press and seal, check. ice packs and chemo picnic packed, check. office check-in, port access, blood draw, check. meet with dr. m, check. back down to the infusion room, settle into the recliner, check. benadryl, dexamethasone, che-- wait. i got hooked up with the dex, but no benadryl yet. we had it all planned, andy was going to head to micro center during my benadryl nap, then be back to set me up with my pre-taxol cryotherapy. i ask about the benadryl, and it sounds like she is going to start it with the pepcid for some reason. none of this is a big deal, i just had PLANS. you would think the last round would be the same as all the rest... whatever. fine. dexamethasone, THEN benadryl, THEN pepcid, THEN cryotherapy... check. bathroom break, then taxol, check. andy heads out and returns with the wifi external drive. at some point, i am presented with a certificate signed by all of the nurses, in honor of my last round of neoadjuvant (pre-surgery) chemotherapy. it is titled "certificate of courage," which is pretty cheesy, but i can appreciate the thought and effort. the certificate appears to be a substitute for bell ringing; for those familiar with the cancer world, chemotherapy offices often set up a bell that patients can ring once they have finished their treatments. this office used to have one, but removed it. for some cancer patients, it was discouraging, as they knew they would never be able to ring the bell... because stage 4 (metastatic) cancer often means chemo indefinitely. thus the certificate idea was born. (one of these days, i hope to post about the lack of research and funding regarding stage 4 metastatic breast cancer... but today is not that day).

after the infusion, it was back down to scheduling to arrange the next meeting with dr. m. she wants to see me in about a month to see how my body is recovering from chemo -- toxicity, blood work, etc., to make sure i am ready for surgery with dr. h. then it was chemo picnic in the car, then back home for me, and back to work for andy. as i struggled to get the wifi drive set up on my usb-less laptop, i was feeling a little chilly. i check the thermostat and it is 61 degrees. which is not terrible, except for the fact that we have it set for 70 degrees. uh oh. the fan is running, but no heat... awesome. i call the company that i assume installed the furnace (as it turns out, they installed the air conditioner, not the furnace, but no matter, they do both). they can send a technician out around 3-5pm, will you be around? oh yes, yes, i will. i am finally able to get a very short post-chemo nap in before the tech arrives. he inspects the fourteen year old furnace and gives the bad news about a temperature sensor, rusty furnace core, and safety issues. no repairs can be done; no furnace tonight. i learn about single stage furnaces, two stage furnaces, and the fact that the soonest we can have either of them is monday. awesome. andy has a portable oil filled radiator heater that served him well in his apartment, so i fire that up after the tech leaves. however, the house is at 58 degrees at this point, so we may need more oomph.

but first things first: we celebrate the last day of chemo at our favorite local diner. burgers, fries, and donuts to go for the next morning. after that, it's homeowner adventures in heater shopping. we decide to pass on the unreturnable, unknown brand name heater at ace hardware. we move on to target and find the perfect second radiator heater for our purposes. success! we bring it home, set it up, and are on our way to not freezing our buns (or pipes) off. it is still chilly in the house, but crawling into bed solves that issue just fine.

we wake up in the morning to find that the house is in the low 60's and also that the heaters have not burned the house down in any way. success! friday is far less exciting than thursday, which is fine by me. that evening, we crank up the heaters, order pizza, play some dominion, and watch the last episode of the good place.

saturday has involved a good amount of lounging around. several days ago, i had planned on making a pot roast in the instant pot today. we modified that plan and made it the old fashioned way -- when your furnace is borked, what better time can there possibly be to run the oven for four hours? i used one of those old-school oval roasting pans for the first time, even though it seemed like overkill for a small roast, and it all turned out deliciously. after that, we played a board game, and now here i am, updating you all on Week 23, which was far more eventful than anticipated or desired. hopefully the coming week will be a little less exciting, except perhaps for monday: a new motherboard AND a new furnace! adulthood is so random. let's do this.

i am not entirely sure how we ever managed anything socially before cell phones. on monday, the MLK holiday, i woke up with my day barely half-planned as far as who and when and where i would be meeting with people, but over the course of the day, got everything all worked out. i had the day off and headed southeast in the morning, and was directly in front of fluff bakery in athens a few minutes past 10am. i caught up with lisa over a blackberry and cream cheese danish, and then it was off to central venue and that morning's play cafe. (basically, my old church is testing out using one of their locations to let kids play, while the parents work or talk or hang out.) i wasn't there for the dozens of kids, obviously, but it was good to see some familiar faces. then it was lunch with paul, laura, and lydia... and then catching up with megan... and then visiting curt and erin... and then chatting with daniel and talinn... and then having dinner at casa with patrick and sarah. i was surprised at how quickly a day can fill up. in my brain, i should have had time to see at least half a dozen other people! i perhaps overbooked myself, but i will just have to catch up with the others next time. oh and of course, i picked up a mocha from donkey to accompany me home to columbus. and maybe some salsa verde, for good measure. and maybe some mac and cheese and fried chicken from miller's...

tuesday was fairly uneventful, though the evening was delicious. andy made a version of haluski, with cabbage, onions, kielbasa, egg noodles, and plenty of black pepper. the traditional slovak version his grandmother makes involves potato dumplings, but the noodles were a perfectly good stand-in for our purposes.

on wednesday, i left work early and headed to an appointment: a massage! i haven't had a massage in probably a couple of years. the bing cancer center at riverside offers three free massages to patients currently undergoing treatment for cancer... yes, please, i will take you up on that. it was a little weird walking into the building i associate with mammograms and biopsies and ultrasounds and scans to get a relaxing massage, but life IS a little weird nowadays. anyway, the massage therapist was lovely, and my favorite part was the head and neck portion. with my head now unencumbered and hairless, it was a full-on lotioned-up head and scalp massage going on and i was ALL ABOUT IT. i definitely remember thinking in the middle of it that i needed to schedule another massage before my hair grows back. the rest of the massage was very relaxing, though slightly less intense than usual, due to chemotherapy making patients more susceptible to bruising in general. all in all, a good way to spend an hour. the rest of the afternoon and early evening was spent doing a little clothes shopping, because why not? hiking pants were purchased, gift cards were used. a pretty successful day.

another thursday, another infusion: taxol, round 11. the penultimate chemo! we got the roomy corner chair, which is nice because it is tucked away, and andy doesn't have to feel like he's in the middle of the walkway. other than the nurses actively decorating for valentine's day, nothing out of the ordinary: the usual drips, nap, cryotherapy, taxol, and chemo picnic.

in the spirit of Doing More Stuff In 2020, friday evening we headed downtown. (after living in athens for over 16 years, it feels weird to not say "uptown"). our first stop was condado, as i figured it was about time i visited. i ended up liking the taco i built more than the pre-built ones. i guess i have... good taste? (ba-dum). then we walked down to the palace theater to see brian regan, a comedian i have enjoyed for almost two decades now, but have never seen live. he was just what i expected in person, and as funny as ever.

after a bit of meetup location confusion on saturday morning, we were off with liz and matt to the clear creek metro park winter hike. there were more people than i expected, and we were ushered on to an additional parking lot after the first one was deemed full (we totally could have fit). we set off for the cemetery trail, which was basically marching straight up the muddy hillside. my body reminded me that i have not been hiking for quite some time, and that also, i am no longer in my 20's. after some wet, muddy hiking (some of us may have taken a shorter route than others), we finished and headed to the olde dutch buffet for too much lunch. when we eventually got back to columbus, i promptly took a two hour nap, because hey, i know my strengths. andy and i played a couple of board games later that evening.

today was a pretty chill day that involved laundry and organizing and tidying and i'm sure that sounds suuuper boring but the end result makes my brain happy and relaxed. that's it for Week 22 in Cancer Land... this coming week brings the last round of scheduled chemo. let's do this.

Week 21 in Cancer Land, hello there. monday evening involved board games with a subset of andy's coworkers, and tuesday evening i met up with my friend christina in what has become a bit of a monthly-ish texas roadhouse tradition. we met as neighbors many moons ago in my apartment in the plains, then we were sort of east side neighbors in athens, and now we both live on the west side ish of columbus. who would have thought all these years later we would be having regular dinners out in columbus? life is funny that way.

wednesday i picked up a few things at the store after work, and is it just me or does the grandview kroger have the most poorly designed/smallest/worst produce section? not the produce itself, which is fine, but i mean, the layout. it's like no matter where you are, you are always in everyone's way, and everyone is always in your way. or perhaps 5:15p on a weeknight is just not the best time to go shopping if you want to take your time and browse all your vegetable and fruit options? i suppose that's possible.

thursday was a trip to the zoo. just kidding! obviously it was chemo day: taxol, round 10. i checked in at the front desk and they seemed to have gotten the memo from last week's call -- no random out-of-pocket charges, and they sent me on my merry way for my chemo infusion. as i settled in and my nurse for the day began my blood draw, i learned that eric trump was in columbus for some reason, and had been at the starbucks less than a mile away from the oncologist's office that morning. she was not impressed with the extra time spent having to wait due to secret service protocols. just give the woman her coffee!

other than that, it was all the usuals for chemo day, including the little picnic that andy and i have had for most of the taxol infusions. when the weekly treatments began, it was unclear at first when i would be finished for the day. since we were bringing a cooler for my ice packs anyway, we always packed another cooler with sandwiches, chips, and a drink, just in case we got hungry (as it is not recommended to bring hot foods into the infusion area, due to everyone's possible sensitivity to smells). as it turns out, i am usually released just around lunchtime, so we end up eating our packed lunch in the car, which i have recently dubbed Chemo Picnic.


ordinarily, i would be happy to go out and about for lunch on a day "off", but it has been nice to not have to decide where to eat, and immediately begin shoving food into our faces. plus, it is funny to think about, because if anyone is actually watching us, we probably look like two poor squirrels nibbling at food in our own car right outside the oncologist's office. like, wow, these poor souls must have it pretty rough... nope, not really, we're just hungry and lazy.

friday evening, we were invited to our friend christina's house for dinner (different christina than tuesday). we ate and caught up and hung out with her kids and played games, a pretty relaxing night. on saturday morning, we had had plans to go on the old man's cave winter hike in the hocking hills with our friend liz, but the constant rain and possible ice pellets caused us to abandon the plan. unfortunately for me, i was already up with a stomach full of breakfast and coffee by the time we cancelled, so instead of going back to sleep, i decided to be productive. after sort of organizing one of the hall closets and taking down the christmas tree, i took the first nap of the day. later, realizing that we were basically out of all of our usual breakfast food (among many other things), we ventured out grocery shopping in the rain. then andy did some laundry and i napped again, and in the evening we headed off to serena and tyler's for dinner and board games. good times, however, this lasted until well after midnight, which was far past my bedtime.

after a short night of sleep, today was church and then lunch with andy's family. other than that, it has been a quiet afternoon and evening, including blogging and planning a short trip to athens tomorrow. this government worker has the day off, so why not spend it with old friends? looking forward to catching up with people and eating some salsa verde... Week 22, let's do this.

are we already a full week into 2020? yes, yes we are. throughout the week, i medicated my cough with varying degrees of success. poor andy was, i'm sure, woken up multiple times on multiple nights due to my random coughing fits. things are under control now, at this point i mostly just sound like i've been smoking three packs a day for a while now. super sexy.

i tried to keep to myself with my office door shut during the week so as to avoid infecting/irritating my coworkers. normally, i am all about the liberal use of sick time as needed, but i've already sort of been doing that over the past several months. plus with holidays and everything else, i was feeling a little behind... hopefully i didn't annoy everyone too much.

thursday was, of course, chemo day. for some reason, despite having the exact same insurance as last year, and the exact same treatments as last year, the oncologist's office insisted that i suddenly owed more out-of-pocket costs this year. it is important to note that i work in my organization's human resources department, and while i am a fiscal person, not a program person, i am pretty well schooled about our benefits and healthcare plan. it was infuriating to be told that i owed money that i KNEW i did not owe, but in order to proceed with the office visit, i had to swipe my card anyway. oooooh... LIVID. i was livid. i am generally pretty chill, but i do NOT take kindly to being told i am wrong when i know damn well i am right. (we'll return to this later in the post).

chemo treatment is every thursday, but seeing the oncologist beforehand only happens every two or three weeks. dr. m continues to be pleased with my body's response to the treatments ("i can't feel anything -- it just feels like normal breast tissue!"), so that is always a good pep talk and reminder. we discussed my future appointment with the breast surgeon in february, as well as dr. m's opinion that i have inflammatory breast cancer. i questioned her about that, as i had specifically asked dr. h on the day of The Original Call if she thought it was IBC; dr. h had said no. dr. m simply stated that she disagreed. to be honest, i thought most signs pointed to IBC as well (the problem area of my breast was originally firm, heavy, warm to the touch, red/pink skin, fast growing). i am hoping to get that cleared up before my appointment with the surgeon; perhaps getting my relevant physicians to discuss my case with each other regarding that assessment. it wouldn't have changed the chemotherapy treatment (it doesn't change the invasive ductal carcinoma diagnosis), but from what i know, it might inform future plans (surgery type, radiation frequency, follow-up scans, port removal, etc.). i could include details on what i know about IBC, but i will refrain until i discuss with my doctors. long story short is that IBC is rare, and not preferable.

after seeing dr. m, it was time for the usual taxol infusion, round 9! three more to go. nothing of note: benadryl, sleepies, cryotherapy, colbert. afterwards, i needed to schedule the last three appointments, and due to a new system, we waited way longer than was usual. all in all, the day was not a great experience administratively at the oncology office. c'mon guys, get it together.

friday was another day at work, and friday was also when i called the oncology office's billing department to give them a what for. it took three different interactions (with the same person); a significant amount of time raising my voice; the billing office calling united healthcare; and me being persistent in my knowledge of my own healthcare plan, but things finally got straightened out. there is a note in my file that, yes, my healthcare plan is ridiculously amazing, and no, i will not be charged any out-of-pocket costs just because it doesn't seem possible to you that all i owe is the copay. now, when my FSA account will be refunded thursday's incorrect payment is yet to be seen, but i trust it will happen. hey, i know people.

on the last call, the call where she confirmed everything i had been explaining about my healthcare plan, i apologized to the woman in the billing department for the previous call's yelling. she countered by telling me she was glad i insisted in getting it right. i responded by saying that i knew i was right, and i knew i was right to argue, and i knew to continue down that path relentlessly, despite being told that i was wrong -- and relayed that what infuriates me the most about the experience is all the patients who DON'T know they can argue, who DON'T have the confidence or the knowledge to argue with their physician's office, who DON'T know they might accidentally be overpaying. the state of healthcare and insurance is more complicated than it needs to be, and i don't understand why that is. she agreed, i thanked her for resolving the situation, all was well, and my blood pressure finally began to decrease.

saturday was a morning of sleeping in, playing a random board game with andy, and eating leftover chili. the afternoon was errand running and the evening was watching nfl playoffs at his uncle's (mostly for the food and the tradition, as we are kind of over the nfl season at this point). today was church, more nfl watching tradition in the afternoon, and some evening blogging. thus ends Week 20 in Cancer Land... what will Week 21 bring? let's do this.

Week 19, the last week of 2019, was quite a social one around here. monday and tuesday were usual days at work. tuesday evening was new years eve, which was spent at the wolfes. i have spent several new years eves at the wolfes over the years, most of which have involved us watching one of the various network tv specials and wondering who on earth all the performers and presenters are? this year, they must have catered to the x-ennial crowd, because many of the bands were recognizable: green day! alanis! salt n pepa! paula abdul! unfortunately, the performances weren't exactly what we were hoping for, so that was.. a little disappointing. but it was a good evening of catching up, playing games, and hanging out until way past my bedtime.

it should be noted at this point that a slow-growing cold was creeping up on me during the week. by the time i woke up on wednesday, my throat was sore, and coughing was a definite thing that was happening. out of precaution, i called the oncologist's office. they said no worries, do what you would normally do for a cold... as long as there is no fever, you should be fine and it shouldn't interfere with thursday's chemo. satisfied with their advice, that afternoon we headed to andy's parents for new years day, another day of food and board games and just hanging out.

thursday was the first chemo of 2020, with a bit of a twist. it was scheduled for noon instead of our usual 9am, mostly due to patients being scheduled for thursday instead of wednesday due to new years day. given the appointment time, it seemed like a good day to invite paul to hang out with me in the infusion room for a few hours. so andy got the day "off" from chemo duty, and paul came up from athens to retrieve me for lunch and then chemo. he was mostly well-behaved, and even got me an iced mocha while procuring his own iced tea, while i was in benadryl naptime land! it was good to catch up and hang out, despite the clinical environment. we were out of there around 3:30pm, and after some errand running, paul dropped me off at home a little after 4pm, and he headed back down to athens. instead of my usual post-chemo nap, i powered through the evening and had an early pre-9pm bedtime.

friday was back to work, coughing and sneezing still in effect and still annoying. that evening, we made dinner at home, played a board game that did not end up getting high marks from me, and i became snuffly and congested AF and headed to bed early to get some rest.

saturday morning welcomed a visit from katie. she came over around 10am, and we caught up as i tried to drink a steaming hot cauldron of tea to help my congestion and cough. we left andy to his laundry, and katie and i headed out for some hipster pancake balls and veggie cornbread at katalina's in clintonville. we got there at just the right time -- no line at all and we found seats with no problem. it was quite loud though. the day was rainy and not ideal for wandering and exploring, so afterwards, we headed to stauf's in grandview, hoping to chill there and have some coffee. unfortunately, all the tables were full, so we got our drinks to go. so we hung out back at the house with our hot beverages and all was well. very low key and very relaxing. later in the afternoon, dana and nick stopped by while they were visiting columbus. ALL THE FRIENDS THIS WEEK! we all hung out for a bit, though eventually katie departed, and dana and nick kicked their feet up for awhile in our cozy house. after some tire maintenance, they continued on with their columbus adventures. later in the evening, andy and i watched the accountant, which is one of the most WTF movies i have watched in awhile.

sunday morning we churched it up, made a quick trip to kroger, and then headed out for pho with a couple of friends, both of whom are in law school, which does not necessarily sound like fun to me at all. afterwards, we all hung out at our house, played a game, and enjoyed each other's company. the evening has been one of leftovers, blog writing, and taking drugs and drinking tea to try and stop all this coughing [the ongoing, annoying theme of the week]. to be honest, this cold and cough has been the most irritating and distracting thing i have had in the past month or two, even more so than chemo or any side effects. indescribably annoying. i would be very pleased if this went away soon, because i am OVER it. coming up is Week 20 in 2020... let's do this.

welcome to the recap of Week 18, where holidays happen and it becomes hard to remember what day of the week is currently in progress.

monday was one of only two days i appeared at work. end-of-year is always a bit of a busy time, so the day was well-spent cranking out budget items for 2020. that evening, andy and i headed north to my parents to begin christmas festivities. tuesday, we had a christmas (eve) meal for lunch, followed by some gift opening in the afternoon. that evening was our now-traditional dinner at applebee's with my brother's family. this was all fine, aside from the moment that our waiter lost control of my mountain dew and redistributed it across our menus, over the table, and down to our chairs and the floor. this was a first for me, very exciting. the poor waiter felt terrible. mostly i plucked ice cubes out of my purse and wiped down the inside and outside of my wallet; i was annoyed, but all was well. we spent a little while at my brother's after dinner, and then andy and i were off, driving through the thick, patchy fog, back to columbus.

wednesday was a leisurely morning, and we headed south to andy's parents for a christmas lunch. later in the afternoon, once other family members showed up, there was the opening of presents. we hung out at his parents for the rest of the evening, chatting and playing games with family.

the next day, thursday, was back to regularly scheduled life -- chemo day, round 7 of taxol. nothing out of the ordinary, morning infusion, afternoon nap.

friday was back to work, which was confusing, because i spent much of the day thinking it was a monday due to having the previous several days off. more budget entry for the day, and then the evening was spent at molly and ralph's with basically the entire oches crew, plus other local family friends like us. it was great to catch up with everyone and be surrounded by people i have known and loved for many, many years.

saturday was spent back at andy's parents for a leisurely day of eating wings, playing games and hanging out with family. sunday afternoon was spent watching the train wreck of the browns 2019 season come to its final, disappointing end. (farewell, freddie).

nothing truly new or exciting to report, which is not necessarily a bad thing. this week, 2019 is out and 2020 is in... let's do this.

as i mentioned in my last post, there was a pox upon our house last weekend, so we took things very slow and easy. lots of ginger ale and quiet activities and looming paranoia that i was going to catch whatever unpleasant stomach bug andy had... but thankfully, i emerged unscathed.

monday and tuesday were work days as usual. wednesday, i was on campus at osu for an all-day training. classes are out, so the area wasn't too crazy for morning traffic. easy parking garage access, starbucks literally across the street via crosswalk, can't complain. during the training, i sat at a table of people from various agencies and disciplines; we all worked together pretty well and overall the day was pretty interesting. later in the evening, i caught up with a friend for a spontaneous dinner, which was lovely. kind of a random day all around, which was a welcome, weird change of pace.

thursday was chemo day as usual. round six of taxol: halfway done! nothing of note, other than having a very chipper nurse that day. i spent the afternoon sleeping on the couch, also as usual. then it was dinner, finishing the last of christmas shopping, and an 8pm showing of the rise of skywalker. (shout out to the star wars franchise for consistently releasing movies right around andy's birthday). this made for a bit of a late evening, but at least we knew we didn't have to worry about spoilers!

generally speaking, the weekly thursday chemo infusions are still going well. i basically sleep all thursday afternoon, but am back to work on fridays. i have already mentioned the ongoing stomach issues and HOT FLASHES and dr pepper weirdness. on that note, i think things are overall becoming blander as far as my taste buds. i'm not getting any metallic tastes (a common chemo issue), but things are just becoming more and more... meh. so that makes mealtimes less fun. i am also getting some discoloration on my nailbeds, mostly on my thumbs and big toes. it's dark enough that multiple people have asked what happened, how did you hurt your thumbs? but they aren't lifting up or falling off or hurting or anything unpleasant like that, so i'll take "darkly colored nails as a side effect" with no complaints. another recent development is that basically the lining of my nose is sort of... well, not bloody, exactly, as i'm not getting nosebleeds. but anything involving kleenex also involves a trace of pink or red color. this is pretty normal due to the taxol, but is still always slightly disconcerting to see. ah, the joys of chemo.

so, somehow christmas is upon us? this is clearly impossible, but the calendar shows otherwise. plenty of travel and hustle and bustle and hanging out with family... let's do this, week 18. merry christmas!

a pretty uneventful week in Cancer Land. sunday afternoon was an early celebration of december birthdays for andy and his sister. so, a nice lunch with family, some chatting, some games. we lingered long enough to have leftovers for dinner there... a pretty relaxing day.

the rest of the week was pretty standard. worked monday through wednesday. thursday chemo, no new side effects, same old mild digestive issues over the weekend. there was some house cleaning happening on thursday and friday, in preparation for having people over for board games for andy's birthday weekend... but alas, it was not to be. poor guy woke up not feeling well, and it has continued throughout the day. we're taking it easy today and will do the same tomorrow. hey, at least we're all drinking ginger ale around here nowadays.

similar to last week, i thought i would share something slightly different, due to the lack of anything dramatic going on (not that i'm complaining). a couple of years ago, before any of this current mess started, i stumbled across a clip of  the standup comic, tig notaro. i don't remember which clip it was, but i remember enjoying her dry delivery and weird observations. down the internet and youtube rabbit hole i went, watching more clips and reading random articles about her. eventually, i found a write-up about her standup set at largo in 2012, in which she strode on stage and began her set with, "good evening, hello. i have cancer. how are you? is everybody having a good time? i have cancer." it was not, unfortunately, the beginning to an elaborate joke. just days after receiving a diagnosis of bilateral breast cancer, she forged ahead with a show and ended up giving an incredible standup performance. the audio of the show had been recorded, and she was persuaded to release it as an album (titled "Live" -- but pronounced with a short i, not a long i -- a command, not a description).

when i first heard the album, i found it hilarious and horrifying and brilliant and funny. i mean, when what you do for a living is basically share funny observations about the world, i guess it makes sense that the only way to cope is to work through it. the audience was right there with her. once they realized, no, this wasn't a joke, it sort of morphed into a half comedy show, half group therapy session. it was, as one audience member announced, "fucking amazing". totally agree, dude.

i dug out this album and put it on a continuous loop in my car soon after my own diagnosis. it was, and is, pretty cathartic. many of the issues she deals with on the album (there are so many!) actually have nothing to do with me. but her descriptions of cancer: the initial shock, biopsies, and even just announcing the diagnosis out loud, all ring true. i can probably credit some of my current attitude and outlook of my own experience to this comedy set, as ridiculous as that sounds. (though i can credit the idea of blogging about it, to my friend jana. hi, jana!). little did i know that a comedy album and a friend's blog, both about cancer, would end up being unintentional research for my own future. but all of these things are part of the reasons why i am blogging... it's helpful for me, it's informative for you, and to be honest, dealing with tragedy without humor would be even more tragic, in my opinion.

anyway. all that to say, here's a comedy set that resonates with me, and relates to this Cancer Land blog.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kz-lV4t-3w&list=PLQQwrcUnrOndEvTJKT8Bu75y_S_lAZkOT

she may not be your cup of tea. that's okay. but perhaps some of you will enjoy.

next week is Week 17, which seems like a lot of weeks? but still chugging along. let's do this.

with thanksgiving over, it was back to the normal schedule for Week 15. my quest for new drinks has brought ginger ales and root beer and lemonade into my beverage rotation, which is a nice change of pace. the weird stomach issues continue, and i expect they will be with me through all of chemo. i have learned that it is worst from saturday evening through sunday evening (regardless of menu or diet), but knowing is nice? i guess?

to be honest, not a whole lot interesting happened during the week, so i thought perhaps i would take you on my usual chemo journey. on thursdays, i generally wake up around 7:00-7:30am (depending on my appointment time), shower, and head downstairs. i take my prescription tube of lidocaine cream and glob some on to my mediport area to get that numbing action going, then cover it with some good ol' Glad press and seal, as recommended by my doctor, to keep the cream in place and off my clothes. as i have said before, the press and seal works surprisingly well on human skin, which is a weird thing to say. then i eat some breakfast, we pack a cooler for my DIY cryotherapy (two cryomax ice packs for my hands, and two specially designed socks with inserts for frozen gel packs), and andy and i are off to the oncologist's office. (side note: all of my care is being handled through ohio health's riverside methodist hospital / bing cancer center. though the oncologist's office is at a separate off-site location, it is all still officially through riverside. i thought it was weird at first, but it's actually nice to not have to deal with hospital traffic and parking).

after arriving at the oncologist's office, we check in at the front desk. all the usual insurance and address verifications and copay, and then i am given a yellow sheet with my current appointment information on it. i bypass the normal blood draw department and continue down the hall to the infusion room, where i drop off my yellow sheet at the door, and we sit and wait for a few minutes. when they call my name, i am led into the infusion room, which is lined with stations around the outside of the room with recliners, IV drip poles, and infusion pumps. whoever my nurse is that day leads me to one of the recliners, and we begin the blood draw process. since i have a mediport, the chemo nurses do this instead of the regular blood draw department, which makes the initial setup more complicated, but the rest of the process far easier. the nurse peels away and removes my press and seal, then wipes off the numbing cream and cleans the mediport area. then she (they are all women nurses at this office) will give me a count of three and insert a special needle into the mediport (which hasn't hurt yet -- thanks, numbing cream!). the needle leads to a tube, probably about five inches long, through which she then runs regular saline to make sure my mediport is clear and working properly, and then my blood draws are done from/through this tube. i don't know how many vials of blood they take, maybe two or three? i don't really watch.

i am sent back to the front desk with my yellow sheet of paper, while my blood is sent for immediate testing in-house, which will show whether my body is ready for another round of chemo yet. then we sit and wait for a few minutes until my name is called, and a different nurse takes me back into a typical doctor's office room for height/weight/blood pressure/pulse checks. i change into a gown and dr. m shows up and does some tumor measurements (or, at least, she used to... as of this week, she said there is nothing she can even really measure, as it all feels like normal breast tissue from the outside at this point -- a good thing!), she answers any questions i have, gives any updates or scheduling needs, and clears me and my blood work for chemo that day.

then it is out of the gown and all the way back down the hall, past the front desk, to drop my yellow paper at the infusion room door, and sit and wait for a few minutes. when my name is called, i am generally led back to my original recliner from earlier, though sometimes it is different. first up is the pre-chemo medications. at this point, that tube hanging out of my mediport is now hooked up by a nurse to more tubing, which is sort of run through the infusion pump, and that tubing is hooked up to saline and whatever medication i am getting at that moment, which are hanging out on the IV pole. nowadays, i am getting benadryl (to prevent any allergic reactions) and dexamethasone (a corticosteroid, used in my case for anti-nausea), which i believe i get at the same time, and takes about twenty minutes to complete (signaled by the infusion pump beeping, which wakes me up from my benadryl nap). this is then followed by pepcid (for those lovely indigestion and heartburn side effects), which also takes about twenty minutes. to keep neuropathy at bay, i am supposed to use my DIY cryotherapy fifteen minutes before and after the taxol treatment, so i begin using the ice packs on my hands and feet during the pepcid drip.

after the pepcid but before the taxol, i generally take a bathroom break, because when i'm all hooked up with the tubing, i need to drag the IV pole and infusion pump around with me... and it's generally best not to be dragging chemo drugs all around the room, just in case. also, i'm getting INFUSED WITH FLUIDS ALL MORNING LONG, something's gotta give. then it's back into the recliner, the pepcid drip is switched out for the taxol drip, i kick my feet up, and i watch colbert on andy's ipad, since my range of activities is greatly reduced due to all the ice packs. after about an hour, the infusion pump beeps when the taxol is finished. the nurse unhooks all the drips from the tubing, and the tubing from me, and the needle from my mediport (which is usually the only time i feel discomfort from that area, since the numbing cream has long worn off). i hang out for another fifteen minutes to keep the cryotherapy going, and then we pack up the ice packs, and are out of there, usually well before noon. a combination of errands/lunch may happen, but at some point we make it home, and i am glad to nap on the couch for a couple of hours.

and there you have it. welcome to a day in my chemo life! not terribly exciting, but perhaps illuminating and/or interesting... pulling back the curtain on mysteries you likely never thought about fifteen weeks ago. i know i hadn't. but here we are! let's do this.