i've been noticing during the past couple of weeks that i just don't care anymore.

don't worry; it's a good thing.

you know how in high school every little thing could be an ordeal in the making? oh no, a zit... i have clown feet... she's wearing the same shirt as me... my hair is crap... what will people think...? and so on and so forth. i mean, overall, high school was a pretty fun time for me, but man; now that i'm out i'd never want to go back. who needs that kind of daily pressure?

i realized the other day that many of the items on my old things-to-worry-about list have looong since been chucked. bad hair day? who cares! size eleven shoes? so what! what if i'm a dork? not a problem!

in a room of peers i am only moderately acquainted with, i now find myself at ease, cracking jokes that may or may not be funny but finding myself not caring. at the office where most co-workers are old enough to be my parents, i find myself at ease as well, keeping things light with comments that unfortunately are often lost on the baby boomers. which is really a shame, because they're always a hoot.

i am surprised on both counts. whether self-perception or reality, i've always seen myself as socially awkward and fairly shy [especially with people i don't know well]. while i still think that's true, i'm becoming aware that it seems less and less true as time goes on.

yay for me. score one for the change-can-be-good category.