the new has come, and the old makes a return visit.

recently a friend has been asking me about past experiences with my old church. it's easy to give the quick answer [moved, helped, left]; it's another thing altogether when someone inquires about specifics. how do i condense two years of experience and one year+ of healing into a coherent and concise explanation? how do i do it objectively? justly? fairly? how do i do it without crying?

the older i become, the more i realize how much our past affects us in our present. it affects us sometimes unexpectedly, and it affects us without our permission. it affects us whether we like it or not, and it affects us when we think it shouldn't affect us anymore. and it can affect us, in one way or another, for the rest of our lives.

i'm still trying to make sense of my past. until i find clarity, i will find hope that in weakness is strength.