"one thing that seriously scares me is that 'Christian art' has become a genre, and is often representative neither of the faith I know or anything I would call art. ...

let's be artful with our lives and attract others who are interested in the beauty that is in truth and the beauty in the idea that despite our brokenness we can reflect shards of greater glory."

- comments from rachel


so, i think i finished writing a song today. i'm not sure. i'll have to see how i feel about it tomorrow... oh, the curse of perfectionism.

i think i'm happy with it. but i have my fears... the biggest one being the fear that i have created precisely what i loathe, and that which rachel observes: bad christian schlock. granted, it doesn't have a chorus that repeats "i love jesus" ad nauseum for forty-eight bars -- that's not art -- but still, i have my doubts. is it crap? cliché? i have no idea. i've suddenly lost all perspective on what makes good music good music, thanks to my ego and insecurities waging their own little battle inside my head.

like any good perfectionist, i expect everything to be bright, shiny, presentable and durable the moment it's whisked off the Things Maria Has Created conveyor belt. because, you know, every song i write and photo i take and entry i create is, like, totally supposed to be a hit single, picture perfect, pulitzer prize winning sensation. silly girl.

basically, i wrote a song, it may or may not suck, and i need to just deal with it.

but if it really is schlocky, i'm going to be so disappointed.


well, i thought this was going to tie together a little better, but whatever. maybe the conveyor belt's broken. thoughts on artfulness and/or schlock are welcome.