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i'm in a weird mood right now.

i have plenty to do but no motivation for it. i sit amidst an ever-expanding pile of crap surrounding my desk, i have yet-to-be-ironed clothing all over my apartment, i can hear the last load of laundry in the dryer. books to read, cd's to listen to, dvd's to watch.

and all i want to do is sleep.

have you ever felt like you want everything to stay exactly the same, but at the same time wish things were completely different? great apartment, secure job, dependable car, stable finances, close friends. inconsiderate neighbors, annoying work environment, car and student loans, friends far far away.

once in awhile the last one gets me. i try not to think about it; otherwise i go crazy. i guess that's where most of my weirdness is coming from today. it's hard when your closest friend isn't available by domestic minutes, or a road trip, or a flight under $600, for two years. and occasionally that hits me hard.

today would be one of those days.

addendum: not ONE HOUR after i posted this, GUESS WHO CALLS? [note: she does not read my blog, as far as i can tell.] she relayed that she received my package of all-american peanut butter and chocolate chunks on friday JUST as she and her housemate's supply was running out: apparently, a dire situation. as is so often the case, we end up emailing, or sending packages, or calling each other, precisely when it is needed most. truly, the telepathy would be frightening if it wasn't so genuinely amazing.

thank you, God: i don't deserve this sort of attention.
Posted on Sunday, March 6, 2005 at 06:30PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments1 Comment

Reader Comments (1)

doesn't everybody feel like this? not to put down your feelings (i don't, in fact, know how you feel), but i'm not sure those feelings are unusual for me. i get them once a week! we long for perfection in an imperfect world. i think you are great...just fyi
Mar 7, 2005 at 06:42PM | Unregistered Commenterpaul

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