i had lunch with a friend the other day, and she remarked once again how she likes that i am "real". i suppose i should have clarified to be sure she does not in fact have imaginary friends, but i'm pretty sure i know what she meant. and i take that remark as a high compliment. now, i may not always announce what i'm thinking -- my inner monologue is frighteningly active -- but if you ask me specifically, it's unlikely i'll pull any punches. aside from some quirks and idiosyncracies, what you see is pretty much what you get around here. although some people might get more than others...

a few weeks ago i had what could be described as an "accidental accountability" experience with a close friend. it was surreal; bizarre. one moment, we were sitting around watching television; the next, we were sharing vulnerabilities that very few others knew about ourselves. let me tell you: it doesn't get more authentic than that. maybe it was the smirnoff. more likely it was trust. sharing yourself with another person requires a great deal of it, and amazingly, it is returned to you a hundredfold.

brokenness is a humbling thing. 

"Our depressions, jealousies, narcissism, and failures are not at odds with the spiritual life. Indeed, they are essential to it. When tended, they prevent the spirit from zooming off into the ozone of perfectionism and spiritual pride."  -  Brennan Manning

i often wonder why it's such a struggle for us to be authentic. life isn't always shiny and happy, so why do we act the part? i mean, let's face it: we've all got problems. i think part of our struggle is that we've lost what it means to live in community. we are a collective of individuality. i don't need you; i can do it on my own. everything's fine. except we were created for interaction, for relationships. connectedness. to act like we've got it all together is to deny our own brokenness...

it is late for my brain. for real. my apologies for the lack of cohesion.