a friend of mine visited unleashed the other day and noted that the entire first page was rather grumpy. i hadn't really thought about it, but she was right; the comment threw me for a loop because i was in the midst of a mini-realization that day. sometimes i forget that people can't actually read my mind, and must instead rely on the information given out post by post on a less-than-regular basis.

 

i had been talking with katie the previous weekend and once again mentioned [read: reminded myself] that the majority of my days, my minutes, my seconds, are spent being very much okay with my household of one. i can go for a hike at a moment's notice; i can eat cookies for an appetizer; i can curl up with a blue moon and some pizza and watch a movie and revel in introversion. [of course, this was after a conversation that went something like this: "we could go to a bar and pick up guys." "oh yeah... dude. we could totally do that."  (silence)  "so, um... how do you even do that?" "are you kidding me? i have no idea."] at the time, i was speaking only of the daily ins and outs of life... living in the moment. i joked that i would record the exact ratio of happy singledom : unhappy singledom.

 

several days later and in the midst of my itunes party shuffle at work, i had a thought. it wasn't a new thought by any means; not by a long shot. but for whatever reason, it resonated with me that day. there are so many people i would not know if i was married right now. this seems obvious. dumb, even. and it can be applied to plenty of situations and decisions aside from marriage. but all things being equal, if i was otherwise attached, there are some pretty key people in my life that i might never have had the opportunity, time, or even interest in getting to know in quite the same way that i do now. this blows me away. because these are people i cannot even fathom not knowing. i can barely remember doing life without them. i really can't. my life is far richer than i could ever possibly have imagined before meeting these people, and for that i am grateful... thankful beyond words.

 

i feel like there are more thoughts tucked away somewhere, but it's far past my bedtime and i don't have the time to find them. perhaps tomorrow.