uninspired
i just now wrote that title planning to say something humdrum about encouraging you cingular users to call me, since i am now on the free mobile-to-mobile bandwagon. but now that i think of it, i suppose "uninspired" could be a multi-purpose description for several life areas.
i know it's a bad idea to blog about work, but, what the hell. besides, i'm not sure it's workplace-specific, anyway. i've been wondering for awhile now if i will ever be in a place where i am not constantly scanning the help wanted ads. i know i'm not entirely fickle, as i was quite thrilled with my first "real" job for some time. i enjoyed the work, my co-workers were great, my direct supervisor was fantastic; morale was high, the grants were rolling in. it was a good two or three years until i really started looking for an escape, mainly due to upper management after my ex-direct-supervisor went back to grad school, partly due to wondering if the organization [and i use that term loosely] was just going to flop over and die. at any rate, i escaped through a rabbit hole and into an only slightly less dysfunctional workplace. no real policies, procedures, or communication; no room [or desire] to move up. on the bright side, i no longer have to worry about scraping together money for payroll and accounts payable from various funding sources. which, believe me, is a total score.
i don't even know why i'm talking about all this. what it comes down to is that while i do enjoy accounting in some sick sort of way... who really cares? or, as kt aptly describes, it's a "make believe" job. i mean, sure, in any culture we technically need people who can count and keep track of things, or in katie's case, people who can give counsel and guide others through trying times and conditions. but really? ask me to do basic things like grow food, or construct shelter, or build a fire, and i'm toast. and i know it's irrational, but sometimes i just have to follow the logical conclusion that i have a make believe job based on make believe rules set forth by make believe laws and somehow at some point we have accepted the fact that we have made things unnecessarily complicated just because... well... i don't know. because we can, i suppose. i can't figure out if it's the "make believe" aspect of things that leaves me uninspired, or if it's the organization, or the management, or the co-workers, or what. i hold on to the hope that given the proper mix of environment and purpose, i can put my skills to use and actually feel fulfilled in the workplace.
i can't recall ever seriously thinking i would be anything other than an accountant [though i did toy briefly with the thought of being a music major in college; of course, my much stronger practical side won out]. so it really throws me off when i start wondering if i want to do this for the rest of my life. i don't even know what else to contemplate as an alternative. marketing was my second major, but that seems like an even more make believe job. i'm fascinated by the counseling profession, but that's about as far as i go. hell, i didn't even take psych 111 in undergrad.
on top of all this is the knowledge [fallacy?] that there will always be some bigger and better job out there. gone are the days of loyalty to an organization, of working for 40+ years and trusting there will be a pension at the end of the rainbow. we aren't into commitment. we're into ourselves.
and anyway, i've been thinking lately that i could use any random skills i have and be perfectly happy as long as the environment and management are right, because thus far, i've never wanted to leave a job because of the actual tasks i'm called upon to do.
wow. this might possibly be the most disjointed post in the history of unleashed.
but seriously? call me if you're on cingular.
mdog
8 Comments
Reader Comments (8)
Can I call you even if I'm NOT on singular.
I was going to post more... but you know, I think I will save these comments for off line.
you're not still bitter about me leaving sprint are you? :)
did i mention that i have to work today? and my next holiday is MEMORIAL DAY?
i think i meant to say this in the original entry, but it was getting late: part [most] of me believes it is a ridiculous idea to expect a "perfect job" [don't pick apart the word "perfect" -- you know what i mean]. and yet part of me believes it can still happen. any opinions?
"and anyway, i've been thinking lately that i could use any random skills i have and be perfectly happy as long as the environment and management are right" - coming from someone with an advanced degree in Organizational Communication, I can say with truer words have never been spoken.
I have nothing really to give other than, I know exactly what you mean and have often contemplated the whole 'make believe' aspect myself...
Interesting. I too had a job I hated, but it was more because of the company than anything else. But, as a small biz owner with basically no organizational numerical skills, *I* admire what you do.
I am with you. I will show up, you give me tasks. I do them to the best of my ability, which is usually good, and you give me money. That is about as complicated as it gets for me.
I loved journalism, loved loved loved it. But $30k a year is not enough for me to live on. I just couldn't pencil it out. So corporate life is for me. Not as much fun, but I never scream when bills come in - much.
I am considering a masters because my work will pay $5k a year toward it. In what? I have no flaming idea LOL. I am leaning toward an MBA just because it is general rather than too specific.
And as far as making things complicated, that is what people DO. As evidence, I offer that dude you see riding his $5000 bike clad in spandex, with special riding shoes and an aerodynamic helmet. Chances are the dude just wanted to go for a bike ride one day...but he got sucked up into Bike Rider world and got spit out all covered in spandex. We do it with everything - clothes, cars, houses. It's like we can't ever admit we have enough and that sometimes simple things are best.
In my neighborhood, which is poor, people regularly party and have a blast with a barbecue out in their (dirt) front yard and a boom box. I come from middle class land, so I know enough to be ashamed that I don't have a nice patio, so I don't invite people over, because my friends are middle class, too. Crazy, huh.
*nods* at mdog & suebob. i've often found myself of late thinking how much i need to/would love to simplify.
and then there's my delightfully fulfilling clerical job. a whole 'nother story.