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1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety etc., of a person or thing; confidence

[via dictionary.com]

i've had this post banging around in my head for quite some time now. actually, i feel like this may be two or three posts, but i can't seem to extract them from one another.

i feel as though the concept of trust is a matter that has come up with several different people over the last little while. trust is an interesting term though. for example, on occasion people share some pretty personal stuff with me. and at the end of our conversations i tend to say something like, "thank you for trusting me." and invariably, the response is, "oh, i know you would never tell anyone!" i'll respond with something polite and benign and appropriate, but inwardly, i sigh and shake my head. because that's not what i really meant.

trust is far more than believing someone won't blab your secrets to the world at large, though of course that is certainly part of it. i didn't say, "thank you for trusting me to keep this private," or, "thank you for trusting me to not write this on my blog," i said... "thank you for trusting me." period. basically i am saying, "you believe that i will still believe in you and love you and respect you regardless of what you share with me." because, come on. this can be serious stuff. baring your soul to another can be intense, it can be scary, it can be emotional, it can be wonderful. sharing your secrets, your fears, your dreams, your bad habits, your real self... you don't do that with just anyone. i mean, i don't, anyway. are you kidding? it's risky as hell. what if i'm wrong? what if they reject me? what if they respond with a look of abject horror while fleeing the room and everything is ruined forever and i die all alone? what then? WHAT THEN, HMMMMM? no, no. this is something to be done with great forethought and deliberation.

so very incredibly unfinished... to be continued. 

Posted on Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 11:39PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments4 Comments

Reader Comments (4)

To me, the most interesting thing about trust is that it must be given before it can be earned. I have to place trust in someone before they ever have a chance to prove they are trustworthy and earn more of my trust. That's the kind of risk that makes it exciting.

May 9, 2008 at 10:27AM | Unregistered Commenterjared

very, very... true.
and summarizable in one post. (is that a word? it is now.)

May 9, 2008 at 06:44PM | Unregistered Commentermar

that should really read 'not' able to be summarized.

May 9, 2008 at 07:13PM | Unregistered Commentermar

excellent reflection. and jared - your comment is so very true. you can think that someone is trustworthy, but you never know for certain until you take the risk. what i find odd is that the risk is much easier to take with some and not worth taking with others. you get a feeling about these sorts of things, i think.

May 9, 2008 at 07:42PM | Unregistered Commentersjw

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