Week 4 in Cancer Land was mostly a week of anticipation. i went to work like a normal person on monday and tuesday, which felt good. not having much specific to focus on during that weekend previous left me to think a little too much and build anxieties.

wednesday was the PET scan. i brought tiger, our stuffed welsh dragon, a very portable pet. the scan was similar to the bone scan in that it would take an hour or two for the injected tracer to run through my system. one difference was that there was really no point in having a guest (sorry, paul!), because i was going to be EMITTING RADIATION during that time, and had to be in an isolated room. (obviously, i listened to imagine dragons' "radioactive" on repeat on my way to the appointment). the PET scan itself was similar to the CT scan: just me laying faceup on a table, and getting moved back and forth through a narrow tube, while vaguely taking a nap. one other difference was that they recommended not wearing anything with metal buttons, clasps, or zippers; sweatpants would be ideal. however, i am not j-lo, and i do not own sweatpants. i could have worn plaid pajama pants, but i am also not a college undergrad, i am a grown woman, so of course, i wore my husband's black workout-y pants and my finest central church t-shirt. anyway, as i was leaving, i was told no worries on the whole radiation thing, except if maybe going directly to an airport, in which case i should present my "this person is slightly radioactive" discharge sheet from the nuclear medicine department. exciting!

then it was home to change into normal person clothes, have lunch, unnecessarily get starbucks, and head in to work. i covered as many bases as i could regarding delegation of Work Things That Require An Actual Corporeal Human Body To Properly Complete, in hopes that i can still do plenty of Work Things That Require Remoting In To My Work Computer From Home. my coworkers are aware of my interest in food and in board games, so mid-afternoon we gathered together for a card game and some snacks for my last in-person pre-chemo workday. thoughtful and unexpected. i have good people.

i wasn't sure how my appetite and tastebuds would be affected by chemo, so my last pre-chemo meal was spent at aab india in grandview... ahhh, delicious indian food. between andy and me, we had chicken pakora, naan, saag paneer, chicken shahi kurma, mango lassi. we took a short after-dinner stroll around grandview, then returned home to find a tote bag of chemo care stuff on our porch (thanks, amy!). the evening was spent doing last minute cleaning to satisfy my brain's WOOP WOOP PREPARE center, packing way too much stuff to bring to the infusion room, and settling in for a good night's sleep.

thursday: chemo, round one. we arrived at 9:30am for the pre-chemo visit with dr. m, where she demonstrated the proper way to apply the numbing lidocaine cream for my mediport ("just glob it on!"), and then around 10am, it was over to the infusion room. it is a well-lit space, with fairly comfortable recliners for patients around the perimeter of the room, and slightly less comfortable chairs for each guest. my nurse, susan, was lovely, and explained and answered all my various and sundry questions. accessing the mediport (basically sticking a 90-degree-angle needle into it) was basically painless (thanks, numbing cream!). first up: anti-nausea drip #1. yes, please. that took maybe half an hour? next up was adriamycin (doxorubicin), chemo drug #1. unexpectedly, this was not administered via drip, but via three large syringes full of this red colored chemo drug. the nurse talked with us throughout this as she slowly administered each of the three syringes. also: CRYOTHERAPY. this took perhaps another half hour? next was chemo drug #2, cytoxan (cyclophosphamide). the default for this was supposed to be 45 minutes, but the nurse stated that sometimes the drug creates a sinus-y, sneezy feeling, in which case the drip can be slowed down to reduce that side effect. after about 15 minutes, i did indeed start feeling stuffy, nose running, weird tingles in my nose. i flagged susan down, she reduced the flow, and i imagine the administration of that drug took about an hour. after that was anti-nausea drip #2. yes, please. this took perhaps another half an hour, during which andy and i got through a couple rounds of the game sushi go! (thanks, betsy!). then suddenly it was 12:40pm, and that was it for the infusion room. i took WAY too much stuff with me; everything went quite quickly, and i mostly either chatted with andy, or we both respectively played on our phones.

we walked down to scheduling, where we found the first batch of my future infusion schedule (three more rounds of this, every other week). still no results from the PET scan, though if they find anything, i believe it would be extra drugs, extra treatments, or both. at this point i am none the worse for wear, feeling good, idk maybe get some chicken wings for lunch? so it was off to roosters, and then to kohl's for some hat shopping. i bought four, which is probably three too many. this was an amazing one that i did not end up buying, nyet?

then we headed home to chill, waiting for all the glorious side effects to begin. i felt tired, but i'm not sure if i was actually tired, or if i knew that i was SUPPOSED to be getting tired. at any rate, our friend brought over several food dishes (thanks, liz!) later in the evening, which was much appreciated and so very delicious. then i think i feel asleep on the couch around 8:30pm.

fitbit tells me i was asleep for about twelve hours, which is probably several hours too much, especially for my back. i had breakfast, we had a slow rolling morning, i had some of my leftover indian food for lunch (appetite still intact!), and it was back to the oncologist's office for my follow-up shot. after each of my adriamycin/cytoxan (AC) infusions, i need to return in 24 hours for an injection of neulasta. the AC reduces several blood readings (red blood cells, white blood cells, platelets), which increases the risk of anemia, infection, and poor blood clotting; the neulasta stimulates the immune system, increasing white blood cell count. the injection gave quite a sting, but it was in and out, and then we were off. unfortunately for my husband, i was still on a hat shopping kick. picked up one at target, no luck at meijer, and one last hat at walmart. the amount of time spent walking around the stores, paired with the amount of time resting in the car as andy drove us from one store to another, was about right for my level of fatigue. friday evening was similar to thursday, watching and waiting for any side effects. other than the growing fatigue... none. so far, so good.

fitbit tells me i was asleep for eleven hours on friday night/saturday morning, and boy was my back NOT having it. it could have been partly bone pain, but i am pretty sure i just need to get my ass up like a normal person and at least change location/furniture/position. it was very uncomfortable. after i loosened up, most of the day was spent lounging around, getting up to do a few things, taking a nap, repeat as necessary. my friend amy was rolling through columbus for other reasons, and stopped by for a visit and a gift of cute socks! we hung out for a few hours, and i managed to stay alert through all of it. then andy and i watched a couple episodes of the handmaid's tale (with rocky road and chocolate chip cookie dough cryotherapy, of course), and i was off to bed.

fitbit tells me i was asleep for about eight hours on saturday night/sunday morning, and my back was thankful for that. woke up a little too late to get ready for 9am church, so it was another slow rolling morning, and we made it to the 10:45am service. it was nice to be out and about and not just shopping or getting infused/injected with things. my appetite is still intact, and pizza sounded really good. so we got some. (don't judge me). i promptly fell asleep with the CIN/BUF game playing in the background, though i woke up and caught the end game drama. (note to self: set alarms to space out naps instead of taking a huge three hour nap for no reason). my friend katie was driving through columbus late afternoon/early evening, so i got another visitor! we hung out for an hour or so, then andy and i had leftovers, and, well, here we are.

i am thankful beyond words that at least the first round of chemo has been mostly uneventful (though incredibly sleepy). i am tired enough that going in to work would likely be a terrible idea, but i am definitely prepared to remote in and work from afar. Cancer Land, Week 5: let's do this.