i spent much of tuesday in an email conversation regarding an authorization form that has been continually revised since its initial generation. a portion of the last correspondence chain:

S: OK - This is it and you will love it!  Let me know when it is official!

M: i love it and will print it and hang it on my bathroom mirror!

P: I printed it and I have it in the bathroom too...  thanks.

M: on the mirror, or...?

P: I left that to your imagination. A friend of mine ... just asked me what were my planned movements for the next couple of weeks. I feel this is a theme.

i just spent a couple of hours with bloggingpaul and his wife. i stopped by to bring christmas, and we just hung out, enjoying each others company despite all our coughing and sniffling fits. the topic of christmas drifted in and out. somewhere along the line, paul asked:

P: "so... when are you leaving?"

M: "what, you mean... tonight?"

a pair of socks i bought tonight are, apparently, composed of 1% rubber.

what? really? why??

in other news, i hope to have a post up soon involving cows. and lobsters. 

after some pancakes and bacon, it was off to brave the 60mph winds and take mdog up into the mountains. but: not before a quick trip to the zoo. well, maybe not THE zoo. but, A zoo. animals made of old metal gidgets and gadgets, springs and cogs; anything you could theoretically stick your magnetic poetry to, really. feeding was allowed, but there didn't seem to be much point. we browsed, then hopped back in the car and continued westward.

we passed through loveland. the mountains approached steadily. and suddenly we were there, driving along the big thompson, surrounded by sheer rock walls on either side. we wound our way up to estes park, and although i was doing fairly well on the curvy road, i was very very glad to not be in a moving vehicle any longer. a quick lunch and we explored some of the local shops before journeying farther up the mountain. we visited the ymca of the rockies, a familiar place for tiff from various camps and conference activities. after i vainly tried to come up with interesting shots of the area, we warmed up with some coffee and browsed through "who pooped in the park?" soon it was time to head home for dinner. we took a different path back down to loveland, a trip including but not limited to: elk ass, bovine guessing games ["he's a cow in drag"], newly built structures ["did you say... a nude little ranch?" "um... no. new. a NEW little ranch"], and lots of pictures of big tall rocks and things, some of which were taken just after a seven hundred mile an hour wind gust CUT THROUGH TO MY VERY SOUL.

finally home, we were greeted by jean and the glorious smell of green chiles [smothered burritos, again!]. mmmmm. the remainder of the evening was HIGHLY entertaining. byron semi-reluctantly gave up the thought of monday night football so that we could watch old home movies of tiff and her sister. and IT. WAS. SO. AWESOME. just as we were about to witness her sister's dancetastic moves circa 1990ville, we found that the remainder of the video had been recorded over by an old arsenio hall episode. unfortunate, in SO many ways. byron flipped over to pbs and it was there we discovered... qi gong. now, supposedly, it's this ancient chinese discipline of relaxation and stress relief blah blah blah. basically, it's yoga in the forest. so anyway, there's this narrator, all hopped up on valium, soothing voice, that kind of thing. and then there's this guy. and he does these... movements. and they're sooooooo unintentionally... suggestive. and he keeps doing them. over. and. over. and then there's this one part... well... you know that scene in the little mermaid? yeah. I KNOW. and then the narrator, MY GOD THE NARRATOR. he could have been reading a grocery list with that voice and it would have been wrong ["it's like subliminal porn!"]. i never thought watching pbs could be so much fun.

tuesday morning it was time to say goodbye to this little town, and just our luck: the snow started somewhere between the time we woke up and the time we started packing the car! fabulous! iced up windshield wipers! fantastic! despite the weather, we made it back to denver with no drama. we arrived at chris's school in hopes of watching the high school teacher in action; alas, it was a day to work on research papers. tiff helped some of the seniors with revisions while i helped with cutting out party favors for the weekend's homecoming festivities. chris spent her planning period chatting with us and OH MY GOODNESS is this just not the cutest picture ever? we left chris to her computer instruction class, had a late chick-fil-a mini-lunch and brief mall browsing, and rendezvoused back at her apartment. after a little oprah and discussion on what tiffany is NOT in charge of regarding wedding plans, we headed out to meet angie at the melting pot in celebration of chris's completed master's thesis from denver seminary. tiff did some conjuring while angie did her best surprised ninja impression. aside from a slight wine mishap and a vomiting waiter, the evening went without a hitch, and i thoroughly enjoyed dining out with these lovely ladies. due to our hostesses' early morning vocational duties, we were forced to say our goodbyes before heading to bed.

the morning and afternoon of my departure date found us touring denver's downtown areas, parks, and points of interest from tiff's time living in this city. it was far too cold for any 16th street mall action, although tiff willingly accommodated my documentation needs, circling the block so that i could get a few pictures of the downtown area. ever the multitasker, at one stoplight she snatched my camera and snapped this lovely shot of the brown palace hotel out the driver's side window. impressive, no? alas, the inevitable approached, and my flight time marched ever closer. after a surprisingly simple rental car return and examination of what are essentially two Weird Tourist Attraction Maps of America at the airport, it was time to cross that Ticketed Passengers Only line. tiff and i hugged and parted ways... the end of yet another vacation trip. a couple of slightly delayed plane flights and several hours later and i was back in ohio.

home sweet home. 

saturday would find us scattering in direction, to family: chris to her brother's, angie with her mom, and tiff and i to her parents. chris creatively managed to prepare breakfast burritos with what i believe was only one egg, a candle, duct tape and a small ball of twine. we said our brief goodbyes, knowing we would be back in a few days, and we were on the snowy roads to the greeley area.

except it hadn't snowed around greeley. at all. not. one. speck. apparently snowfall is very picky in colorado. we arrived to meet tiff's dad at the homestead and headed into town to pick up lunch. ah, small towns... for those familiar with my hometown, picture something similar. yep. after some confusion over curly fries, we headed back home in order to watch UT finish off CU, 70-3. tiff's mom arrived shortly thereafter and joined us on the Tifftastic Tour of Tiny Towns. there is something to be said for seeing and experiencing where a person grew up... it gives you a clear basis for their insanity. and since tiff had the pleasure of visiting my own town and crazy family last year around this time, it only seemed fair that i should share in hers. in the last town we visited, jean persuaded us into browsing at an antique store, a favorite pastime/obsession of hers. the guy playing accordion -- or was it piano? i've blocked it out -- had me scratching at my ear canal with a rusty icepick, pleading for a swift end. but as it turns out, some of my favorite pictures were taken in that store. i could have stood at this old switchboard for hours, finding angles in the perfect light. fan-freaking-tastic. and i don't know what this is, exactly. but i like it.

dinner before the hockey game that evening had byron harassing the waitstaff, his usual behavior. then, after deciphering the flashing text on the big orange construction traffic signs [i'm not making this up: "handecap parking"; "handicup parking"; "genial parking"; "premiem parking"], tiff decided on a space somewhere in the neighboring county. we proceeded to shuffle in to the arena, motivated by the thought of shelter and warm beverages ["i'm all about hot stuff"]. mr. security guard waved me on with my forgotten contraband candy bars, and we settled into our seats. if we were any closer to the ice, we'd have needed skates: it's nice to know people who know people. even if those people give other people bunny ears, and christopher is forced to take a second picture of the other people after those people -- you know, the ones that know people -- after THOSE people get up to buy snacks. anyway. hockey is awesome, even if i don't have any idea what the hell is going on. or, because i don't. whichever. at any rate, the good guys won, fun times had by all. saturday: random enjoyment.

sunday i actually had to get up before nine, and we visited tiff's church from her undergrad days. good service. and also, one of the most hilarious deadpan church announcements i have ever heard. then out to a coffeeshop with funny signs and a creepy doll floating in acrylic and set into a hole in the floor in the middle of the room. yeah. I KNOW. coffee was good, though. after a quick shopping trip and qdoba lunch, it was back to church for a three-hour tour engagement party.

now, the prospect of any mingling at any place for any extended period of time makes me want to crawl under a desk and hide, much less the prospect of mingling in an environment where i will know approximately one half of one percent of all appearing partygoers. as it turns out, at no point did i leave the premises or start rocking in a dark corner. surprising. i survived, and it was fun to finally meet many of tiff's old friends from grad and undergrad. [disclosure]there was certainly no shortage of couples at this gathering... and it is an odd feeling, a very weary one, to be surrounded by people, constantly, all day long, and yet feel so ultimately alone. but then, that's a whole different post. one that crops up periodically, actually. certainly no shortage of those around here.[/disclosure] many, many people showed up to wish tiffany and christopher their congratulations and well wishes... a good day for the happy couple.

post-party plans brought us to a temperature-impaired italian restaurant, where to my delight, tiff's mom and aunt began telling disjointed stories while trying to stifle their uncontrollable and contagious laughing attacks. oh so fun! also of note was one of my favorite misheard quotes, loosely regarding slow cookers ["did you just say 'stripper cock pot?'"]. back home again, it was a lazy evening spent mindlessly watching tv. maria: mentally exhausted.

one more installment... 

i'm working on a post. i swear.

after a late starting flight, got to bed at 11:30 Mdog Standard Time... 1:30 Eastern Standard Time. and now it's off to work. gah.

many, many stories and pictures to come. i'm as impatient as you are to see it all unleashed.