Entries from February 1, 2005 - February 28, 2005
heavy
- 1 Peter 3:1-5
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
- Proverbs 31:25-26
- 1 Samuel 16:7
my heart is heavy tonight. these
sorts of thoughts, along with some other additional stuff, have been
invading my consciousness all day. [as for why: don't ask.] if anyone
feels like reminding me that i really am an awesome and incredible
person, and that you love me and think i'm amazing, i could really use
it today. seriously.
as girls go, i'm not very girly. i don't do anything much with my hair.
i don't color it, i don't prod it, i don't floof around with it. wash,
gel, muss, done. i don't wear makeup. i don't even know the process.
foundation? blush? gimme some face wash and point me to the door. i
don't wear fancy jewelry. i barely own any at all, fancy or no. i
don't remember the last time i bought clothing not on sale, much less
"fine". i try not to dress in a way that would end up with me starring
on what not to wear; but extravagant, i am not.
in our culture today, everything i
listed above is counterintuitive if you're even vaguely in the market
for a husband. i'm definitely on the vague end of the spectrum; yet there are times when all
of my surroundings and interactions magnify that vagueness without my
realization or permission. in these moments, the inevitable question arises: if i were doing these things, would i already have someone to wake up to every morning?
on the other hand, i know plenty of
people already doing everything i listed above -- not that there's anything
wrong with that -- and they're no farther on the path to marriage than
i am. you'd think this should tell me, and all of us, something. but
more often than not, we ignore the obvious, and we get wrapped up in outward appearances. but if i just do this... and
if i just wear these.... or if i just looked like that.....
we believe the lies. we believe the
lies that it's the packaging, the packaging, the packaging! which is the most important focus. and we fail to remember the truth
that it is the product... the inner self... which we should be focused on renewing. it's the
ultimate marketing
scheme, playing on the fears and the faults and the failings of the
human condition, put on by none other than the ruler of the kingdom of
the air.
and from the looks of things, he's doing a damn good job.
purity and reverence... gentle and quiet spirit... strength and dignity... wisdom and faithfulness.
Lord, help me to grow into these characteristics. and help me in continuing to laugh at the days to come.
mdog
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redemption
- David Dark, Everyday Apocalypse
unrelated thoughts
if you're in the mood to opine on actual substance [instead of whatever this is], go visit paul, share your thoughts, help a brother out.
thoughts on a staff meeting
DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE.
relevant
comprehension
i know verbal processing is not my strong point, but still. i'm feeling a little out of sorts today.
bebo.com
as much as i would love to send all of my personal information over the internet to a third party -- and oh, how i would LOVE that -- it's just NOT going to happen. hello? a company that does nothing but collect email addresses and private information? i'd much rather type my email address on every square inch of my website and let the spambots and webcrawlers have their dirty way with it. i'd never see my inbox again, but for a daily list of viagra and porn offers.
my information is just that -- MY information. and information, nowadays, is more important than ever. we don't have do-not-call lists and anti-spam software just for the hell of it. companies shell out huge amounts of money for phone and address lists. i can only assume that your own inboxes are hardly pristine. and if you really believe that's my regular daily email address on the contact page, you are sadly mistaken. [props to lance for introducing me to sneakemail].
so to everyone who is registering with bebo.com, you will be disappointed to know that i will NOT be clicking on the link and entering my contact information. please don't take it personally. maybe i'm just paranoid, but i take my privacy seriously.
and one more thing: WHY IS IT BEBO.COM?!
clearly, this is a topic of interest to the internet-world-at-large.
consider this an invitation to you random searchers [yes, you!] to comment on information gleaned from your searches. i'm seriously interested.
modifications
speed
so, i installed my logitech cordless optical mouse [not more than half an hour ago, i might add], and, oh my. apparently the default for this device is set for somewhere around seventeen times the speed of light. i breathed on it and the cursor shot to the edge of the screen, presumably seeking escape. i felt like i was on speed. have you ever used a laser pointer to entertain a cat? if you haven't, you should try sometime. if you have, then you know exactly what i'm talking about. and i was the cat, my eyes darting around trying to follow this stupid cursor in a state of near hysteria. i was starting to feel ill and in need of dramamine before i finally made it to the control panel and mouse properties.
i am happy to report that the mouse is now functioning, and sufficiently slowed for my mental and visual processing abilities.
addendum: if you're bored and not prone to motion sickness, go to control panel > mouse > motion. set speed to "fast" and acceleration to "high". move mouse around in a normal fashion. find tylenol. sleep.
