about two hours ago i was informed that my partial-raise-now,-partial-raise-in-january has been revised. it is now being taken care of all at once, effective september 1st.

background: next month, i will be taking over many of the responsibilities of my supervisor [while still performing my current duties]. about a month ago i was given the aforementioned now-and-later update for compensation of the new duties. however, the "now" figure was what i felt i ought to be earning already, without the new responsibilities [which i had stated in a previous conversation, and pointed out immediately]. to say i was disgruntled would be a gross understatement. also very important to note: this whole salary update was finally revealed after two months of "i'll let you know next week"s and "i'm still working on the budget"s. two months! note to management: don't string your employees along when it comes to their livelihood. it makes them feel highly unappreciated, and it makes them think that you think that they're so stupid, they can't see that you're stringing them along. not good for morale.

background to the background: the last raise i received was in june of 2003, most of which was part of a cost-of-living increase given to all employees. however, a percentage of nearly nothing doesn't go very far, now, does it?

salaries and wages are funny things. clearly, we have jobs so that we can survive; workers earn their keep. i was elated to land this job after months of unemployment/sporadic employment: "i know where my rent is coming from this month! i can pay bills!" but there comes a point when a job becomes more than the means to survival and safety; our motivation changes. higher-level needs come into play. our earnings become tied to our sense of belonging in the company, and our worth to the organization. obviously, i realize that working in a not-for-profit organization nets me much less than i could earn by offering my skills and talents elsewhere... but even so, i feel that i have been undervalued and underappreciated for far too long. [i do process payroll, you know.]

that being said, i doubt that this offer was completely altruistic; they know i have been unhappy for awhile, and floating paper around. i have a lot of knowledge that they need in order to function smoothly as an organization, especially with my supervisor leaving. it's in their best interests to keep me from jumping ship. even so, this revised offer shows me they at least realize i'm an asset to the organization.

anyway. all this to explain that the "good and fulfilling" bit isn't necessarily referring to little green rectangular pieces of paper; it's about respect and appreciation.

carry me, Your love is wider than my need could ever be
come to me, i will walk along Your shoreline
feel Your crashing waves sing in time with the pounding of my heart

come down, pour out on me
come down, pour out on me

than these legs could ever trustworthy be?

jars of clay, copyright 1999 bridge building music, inc/pogostick music/bmi

i'm not sure what it is about this song, but i really like it. each time i hear it i'm struck by its beauty. the simple-yet-complicated drumset, the gentle guitars, the understated piano, the ethereal lyrics.

i'm one of those folks that has a rough time with poetry. to me, it just doesn't make sense... it seems unfinished. it needs music. [finger rolls on bongos don't count.]

on their own, i wouldn't be impressed much by these lyrics. but the music makes it just right.

[some   samples ].

i'm just never going to get to bed earlier than midnight anymore.

i was just in a picture with some friends in california.
we were on the phone as they snapped various photos.

i had to smile and everything...
i have hilarious friends.

added some links off to the right there... people coming soon.

helped a couple of folks move today. someone i met about eleven hours ago [friend of a friend], and also a co-worker.

the motley crew that assembles on moving day is usually pretty intriguing. family, close friends, co-workers, and acquaintances, all swooping upon one household to help another in need. warm greetings intertwined with introductions and a few "we've met before, haven't we?"s for good measure... strange how a simple u-haul seems to bring some of the scattered threads in one's life together.

for some reason i'm rather adept at keeping those threads scattered. or, compartmentalized, if you will. friends from home. friends from college. friends from work. friends from church. and subcategories within those. i often wonder why that is. i think i mainly don't want to be responsible for a tedious, awkward encounter. it's bad enough to be involved in one; but to go about creating one? egad.

it's silly, i know. it's that perfectionist in me... the everything-must-be-just-so-or-why-bother? mentality. does anyone else do this, or am i just a freak? hmmm.

at any rate, the moving is done, and it's time for bed...
i'm exhausted.