email one:

Could you email [B] an invoice for $250 speaker's fee plus 438 in mileage (they probably do whatever the tax allowance is now $38.5?)

Thanks.

[my CEO]

email two:

Hi [B],

I can fax you an invoice shortly if you like. What name and address should I use, and what is your mileage reimbursement rate? Thanks!

[Maria]

email three:

Thanks for your note Maria.

Our fax number is 216-368-5542

I am forwarding this on to [S] who handles invoicing.

[B]

email four [thirteen days later, after no response]:

Hi [B] and [S],

Shall I assume you would like an invoice faxed to you? Should it be addressed to [your department], or to [the university]? Thanks in advance.

Maria

email five:

Yes you can fax the invoice to me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx]. [Your CEO] should put her name, address, phone number and social security number on the top of the invoice and address it to [our department]. Thanks.

[S]

email six:

Maria: I received the invoice. Thank you. However, it needs a little revision before I submit for payment. You cannot list consulting and honorarium as 2 separate categories. It should be listed as an honorarium because [your CEO] is not contracted by [our department] as a consultant. So if the honorarium is $250.00 then the other charges must be for travel. I need receipts for gas, etc. and I also need the mileage (we pay 0.34 cents per mile). Thank you.

[S]

email seven:

[S],

This was the information I was trying to find last week [mileage reimbursement rate, etc.]. Since no one got back with me, I assumed that there were no particular guidelines. I will create a new invoice. You can throw the old one out.

The only paperwork I have is a mileage voucher for 438 miles driven. I will fax this along with with the new invoice. Thanks.

Maria

email eight:

Sorry about getting back to you so late but I was out from Wednesday on last week and did not open your e-mail until yesterday.  All you have to do is state the mileage at 34.5 cents per mile (I think I gave you the wrong rate).  If there are no gas or hotel charges then I do not need any receipts.  Thanks for your help.

[S]

email nine:

Maria: I received your latest invoice - I am sorry but it needs to be revised again. You have 2 charges for honorariums $250.00 and $151.11. What is the $151.11 for? If it is part of the honorarium, you have to charge 1 fee not 2. In other words, the charge for the honorarium totals either $250.00 or $401.00. Let me know.

[S]

email ten:

[S],

Our accounting program groups "Honorariums and/or Travel Reimbursements" under one charge code. The $250.00 is for [my CEO's] speaker fee, and the $151.11 is for her mileage [438 miles @ $34.5 per mile]. You can classify these any way you prefer. The total invoice is $401.11. Call me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] if we need to work this out further.

Maria

***

i mean... come on. i try to get information and no one responds. i send an invoice and go figure -- it's not up to par with their mysterious guidelines. give me all the information i need and give it to me all at once!!! what is your problem???

"today marks december 1, the first official day of anticipation and longing. the church celebrates this as its own season, leading up to the holidays and reminding us daily that the Reason we celebrate is not because we get presents, and It is definitely not a simple one-day affair. the entire month is spent in lavish preparation, lighting candles and bringing out special colors and singing songs about this God who was once a baby who pooped."

- courtesy rachel