is anyone else getting flooded with these update requests? it's apparently an address book service that apparently everyone i know of is apparently taking part in. apparently.

as much as i would love to send all of my personal information over the internet to a third party -- and oh, how i would LOVE that -- it's just NOT going to happen. hello? a company that does nothing but collect email addresses and private information? i'd much rather type my email address on every square inch of my website and let the spambots and webcrawlers have their dirty way with it. i'd never see my inbox again, but for a daily list of viagra and porn offers.

my information is just that -- MY information. and information, nowadays, is more important than ever. we don't have do-not-call lists and anti-spam software just for the hell of it. companies shell out huge amounts of money for phone and address lists. i can only assume that your own inboxes are hardly pristine. and if you really believe that's my regular daily email address on the contact page, you are sadly mistaken. [props to lance for introducing me to sneakemail].

so to everyone who is registering with bebo.com, you will be disappointed to know that i will NOT be clicking on the link and entering my contact information. please don't take it personally. maybe i'm just paranoid, but i take my privacy seriously.

and one more thing: WHY IS IT BEBO.COM?!



clearly, this is a topic of interest to the internet-world-at-large.

consider this an invitation to you random searchers [yes, you!] to comment on information gleaned from your searches. i'm seriously interested.

i've added and revised some links under the browse section. "guestbook" was known as "comment" in a previous life. contact is self-explanatory. discussion is new, and i'm interested to see how [and if] it functions in this environment. i think it would be a good way to keep in touch with friends scattered around the globe... but alas, that would require people to actually visit. sigh.

i bought a new mouse today. my old microsoft standard scroll mouse was behaving badly. one moment the cursor would be somewhere in my bookmarks drop-down list, searching for the next blog to visit; a nanomoment later it would be somewhere in the next room, leaving me to wonder if i was losing my mind.

so, i installed my logitech cordless optical mouse [not more than half an hour ago, i might add], and, oh my. apparently the default for this device is set for somewhere around seventeen times the speed of light. i breathed on it and the cursor shot to the edge of the screen, presumably seeking escape. i felt like i was on speed. have you ever used a laser pointer to entertain a cat? if you haven't, you should try sometime. if you have, then you know exactly what i'm talking about. and i was the cat, my eyes darting around trying to follow this stupid cursor in a state of near hysteria. i was starting to feel ill and in need of dramamine before i finally made it to the control panel and mouse properties.

i am happy to report that the mouse is now functioning, and sufficiently slowed for my mental and visual processing abilities.


addendum: if you're bored and not prone to motion sickness, go to control panel > mouse > motion. set speed to "fast" and acceleration to "high". move mouse around in a normal fashion. find tylenol. sleep.

"one thing that seriously scares me is that 'Christian art' has become a genre, and is often representative neither of the faith I know or anything I would call art. ...

let's be artful with our lives and attract others who are interested in the beauty that is in truth and the beauty in the idea that despite our brokenness we can reflect shards of greater glory."

- comments from rachel


so, i think i finished writing a song today. i'm not sure. i'll have to see how i feel about it tomorrow... oh, the curse of perfectionism.

i think i'm happy with it. but i have my fears... the biggest one being the fear that i have created precisely what i loathe, and that which rachel observes: bad christian schlock. granted, it doesn't have a chorus that repeats "i love jesus" ad nauseum for forty-eight bars -- that's not art -- but still, i have my doubts. is it crap? cliché? i have no idea. i've suddenly lost all perspective on what makes good music good music, thanks to my ego and insecurities waging their own little battle inside my head.

like any good perfectionist, i expect everything to be bright, shiny, presentable and durable the moment it's whisked off the Things Maria Has Created conveyor belt. because, you know, every song i write and photo i take and entry i create is, like, totally supposed to be a hit single, picture perfect, pulitzer prize winning sensation. silly girl.

basically, i wrote a song, it may or may not suck, and i need to just deal with it.

but if it really is schlocky, i'm going to be so disappointed.


well, i thought this was going to tie together a little better, but whatever. maybe the conveyor belt's broken. thoughts on artfulness and/or schlock are welcome.