decided to rent this tonight. while the movie itself could bring up hours of discussion [or perhaps, twenty-eight days, six hours, forty-two minutes, and twelve seconds worth]: i will not be doing this.

instead, i sit here and reflect that even beyond the bizarreness of the main feature, there is the bizarreness of thirty-plus minutes of footage documenting the movie's rabid fans. that's right, almost forty minutes of my life that i will never get back [barring any time travelling, of course], spent mostly cringing at people hailing this movie as the hugest life-changing event of their existence. yeesh.

the most painful portion was the fifteen minute "documentary" submission by the self-proclaimed "#1 donnie darko fan". that's right, folks, this man filmed himself essentially stalking the cast and crew of the movie, from hollywood to san diego and God knows how many other places that didn't get captured on film, showing just what a stalker fan he is, to win a contest that would land said film onto the dvd release of donnie darko. in my heart of hearts i am hoping that it was done in complete mockery of sci-fi cult fans [in which case, the documentary is hilarious]; however, i'm fairly certain that it was done in complete seriousness [in which case, i fear a world in which people like this really exist].

oh, and the movie was pretty neat i guess.

i'm in a weird mood right now.

i have plenty to do but no motivation for it. i sit amidst an ever-expanding pile of crap surrounding my desk, i have yet-to-be-ironed clothing all over my apartment, i can hear the last load of laundry in the dryer. books to read, cd's to listen to, dvd's to watch.

and all i want to do is sleep.

have you ever felt like you want everything to stay exactly the same, but at the same time wish things were completely different? great apartment, secure job, dependable car, stable finances, close friends. inconsiderate neighbors, annoying work environment, car and student loans, friends far far away.

once in awhile the last one gets me. i try not to think about it; otherwise i go crazy. i guess that's where most of my weirdness is coming from today. it's hard when your closest friend isn't available by domestic minutes, or a road trip, or a flight under $600, for two years. and occasionally that hits me hard.

today would be one of those days.


addendum: not ONE HOUR after i posted this, GUESS WHO CALLS? [note: she does not read my blog, as far as i can tell.] she relayed that she received my package of all-american peanut butter and chocolate chunks on friday JUST as she and her housemate's supply was running out: apparently, a dire situation. as is so often the case, we end up emailing, or sending packages, or calling each other, precisely when it is needed most. truly, the telepathy would be frightening if it wasn't so genuinely amazing.

thank you, God: i don't deserve this sort of attention.