just checked the mail and received from my bank a little birthday card [complete with "happy birthday" and company logo on front], with a handwritten note inside:


"Dear [mdog],

    Just wanted to wish our very special customer a happy birthday!

    Your friends at Peoples Bank, [nearest branch]"


with the signatures of the four employees that work there [apparently] at the bottom, none of whom i would know by name if i walked in at this very moment. and why underline the very?

i'm a little weirded out.

i have printed and signed the final draft of my resignation letter.

i've been anticipating this moment for quite some time now. job announcements have been noted, help wanted ads have been scoured, and "appointments" have taken place, all over the course of several months. so i was a little unprepared when, after negotiations began following the latest interview, i began second-guessing and doubting the whole idea. funny how the prospect of imminent change can totally warp your sense of reality.

i began listing in my head everything i would be losing: my own office. with a window. an INSANE amount of sick time. a goodly amount of vacation time. and even a couple personal days. a substantial amount of job freedom. and on and on. and then, i began listing in my head... well... everything i would be losing: and these things i will not print here. i have references to maintain, you know.

so to those of you who may have my current work email: forget it. trash it. after may 27th, it just won't matter anymore.

note: i have been catching up on dooce archives for entertainment and, holy crap, there is just so much reading to be done. so if i take to using excessive caps and exaggerated metaphors in future posts you'll just have to bear with me because I SO TOTALLY DON'T CARE.

someone please tell me: HOW IS IT ONLY TUESDAY??


7:48am: wake earlier than usual to both accommodate auditors and also visit the post office to send international mail

8:19am: find that the miniscule screw for sunglasses has fallen out YET AGAIN

8:21am: find that the post office does not open until 8:30. DAMMIT.

8:29am: arrive at work one minute shy of audit hell

[8:30-12pm]: field requests for reports and information from auditors' various questions to which i may or may not find sufficient answers

10:33am: post entry in sheer frustration and helplessness

12:02pm: see auditors leave for lunch

12:02:18pm: get the hell out of the office for lunch

12:10pm: wait in mcdonald's drive thru. ice caps melt, subsequently freeze, civilization rebuilds

12:29pm: find that the post office is closed from 11:30 to 1:30

12:29:07pm: find head exploding in meaty angry chunks

12:31pm: arrive home to scarf quarter pounder meal

12:44pm: nap with ferocity

1:02pm: return to office not very much unlike a trapped, caged animal

[1:02-5pm]: see [8:30-12pm]

1:08pm: feel overwhelmed with responsibility and lack of answers

1:09pm: post entry in grumptastic frustration and helplessness

2:21pm: check voicemail for umpteenth time

3:32pm: wonder aloud HOW IS IT ONLY TUESDAY??

5:01pm: MY GOSH IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME

5:13pm: request and receive from willing friend extended hug to combat extreme grumpiness

5:27pm: arrive home

5:28pm: nap

7:56pm: post entry in groggy grumpiness

there is just way too much going on for me at the moment. it doesn't even have to make sense or be remotely relevant to anything i've mentioned, ever. i'm just having a very bad day and i'm grumpy as hell. please help me.