do you ever have days where it seems like you're just sort of floating along, present but unnoticed, solid but invisible, feeling a little out of sorts with the world at large?

 

yeah, me neither.

 

small example: i wore my glasses today. i mean, i wear my glasses every day, at some point; otherwise i would stumble into furniture and walls just trying to make my way to the kitchen for breakfast. [for you contact lens wearers, i'm a -6.00]. but today i wore them, like, out. i can't remember the last time i did this. since i usually wear contacts, most people don't even know i need them. it's not that i don't like my glasses [i actually like them quite a bit]. it's just a pain because then i can't wear sunglasses while driving; or if it's raining, i'm forever wiping them off; or if it's hot, they're continually sliding down my nose. at any rate, it's a rare occasion, and i guess i just felt like something different today. too bad nobody noticed. or at least said anything. maybe they're actually hideous and no one wanted to mention them. who knows.

 

some days i question whether God is paying attention to me. is he even watching? listening? why isn't he answering? some days i want to shake my fist at the sky, demanding response. some days i actually do. and then some days, apathy overtakes any passion, any motivation, any indignance that might propel me into motion: why bother? no one is noticing, anyway. and then i remember things like this and reread them and think, man, have i still got a long way to go. one of these days i'll get the hang of this, i suppose. until then, i guess i'll stumble along in grace.