i am a creature of habit. every morning: snooze. [snooze, snooze]. crawl out of cocoon. find glasses. turn on computer. stumble to kitchen. grab bowl. find cereal. pour milk. find glass. pour orange juice. stumble to computer. first multitask of the morning: eat breakfast WHILE on computer [amazing]. back to kitchen. rinse dishes. visit bathroom. flush toilet. get ready for showe--

wait. what's that noise? like... gurgling. why isn't the bowl filling up? hmmm. maybe... no. it couldn't be. try the sink. nothing's coming out. shower faucet. same thing. uh oh. approximate time: 8:35am. crap. peek out the window. hmmm. i'm guessing those LOUD HEAVY MACHINES and THIRTY-TWO PEOPLE out in the nearby field have something to do with my missing water. begin hatred for the large machines and numerous people. crap. crap. crap.

now what? my hair looks like something out of a scary movie and the only available water is the eighth-inch puddle in my brita pitcher. call friends nearby. no answer. crap. call friend in town. answer. yesss. can i come over and use your shower? what, no, seriously. I HAVE NO WATER. excellent. call work. i'll be late. no water pressure. showering at a friend's. what? YES i'm just now taking a shower, BACK OFF WOMAN. throw all necessities in backpack. race into town. jump in shower. jump out of shower. towel, contacts, hair, deodorant, teeth. twenty minutes? fifteen? yesss.

so much for routine.