i'm thinking it may be a good time to get a new phone.

i'm pondering getting one like paul's new toy, or perhaps one i was ogling once long ago. so i stopped into the local sprint store this afternoon.

aside: can i just tell you how much these brick-and-mortar cell phone stores freak me out? you've got a huge room that has, at most, a dozen products. you've got three or four vultures standing around, watching through the plate glass windows just waiting for you to come in so that they can swoop in and assist you with all of your questions and NEVER GIVE YOU A MOMENT'S SILENCE OR PRIVACY OH MY GOD GIVE ME SOME SPACE WOULD YOU PLEASE I NEED ROOM TO BREATHE. look, buddy, i know exactly what my current phone plan is, and i know how much the current ones suck, and i know exactly which two phones i want to pick up and handle and test, so would you please stop following me around like i need help finding my own ass?

so anyway, back to the store. paul's already had problems with these clowns ["i want to buy a phone from you." "no." "no?" "no." "um?" "come back next week." "but... i... want... to... buy... a... phone... from... you. like... now. seriously. i would like to give you money in exchange for your product." "how does thursday two weeks from now sound?" *paul slashes own wrists in violent rage*]. they have the a900, but of course, the a840 is out of stock.

now here's the part where i get angry [besides the part where Sprint Boy is trying to explain things that i already know]. hypothetically:

1) i can get a $150 rebate on a new sprint phone because i've been with them forever.
2) in order to receive said rebate, this requires signing up for a new contract.
3) the contract must cost at least $34.99 [WHAT??].
4) i am completely happy with my $29.99 free and clear plan.
5) the free and clear plan is no longer available to new customers.
6) therefore i must sign up for a $39.99 fair and flexible plan, because
7) THERE ARE NO $34.99 PLANS IN EXISTENCE. AT ALL. NONE.

or i can just wait for the phone to go on sale and buy the damn thing without worrying about the rebate. or i could buy one on ebay again. or i could steal paul's.

or i could call customer service and see what kind of magic i can work.

what i CAN'T do is keep using this phone indefinitely, because it's either going to fall apart [literally] or possibly electrocute me while i'm using it.