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i'm thinking it may be a good time to get a new phone.

i'm pondering getting one like paul's new toy, or perhaps one i was ogling once long ago. so i stopped into the local sprint store this afternoon.

aside: can i just tell you how much these brick-and-mortar cell phone stores freak me out? you've got a huge room that has, at most, a dozen products. you've got three or four vultures standing around, watching through the plate glass windows just waiting for you to come in so that they can swoop in and assist you with all of your questions and NEVER GIVE YOU A MOMENT'S SILENCE OR PRIVACY OH MY GOD GIVE ME SOME SPACE WOULD YOU PLEASE I NEED ROOM TO BREATHE. look, buddy, i know exactly what my current phone plan is, and i know how much the current ones suck, and i know exactly which two phones i want to pick up and handle and test, so would you please stop following me around like i need help finding my own ass?

so anyway, back to the store. paul's already had problems with these clowns ["i want to buy a phone from you." "no." "no?" "no." "um?" "come back next week." "but... i... want... to... buy... a... phone... from... you. like... now. seriously. i would like to give you money in exchange for your product." "how does thursday two weeks from now sound?" *paul slashes own wrists in violent rage*]. they have the a900, but of course, the a840 is out of stock.

now here's the part where i get angry [besides the part where Sprint Boy is trying to explain things that i already know]. hypothetically:

1) i can get a $150 rebate on a new sprint phone because i've been with them forever.
2) in order to receive said rebate, this requires signing up for a new contract.
3) the contract must cost at least $34.99 [WHAT??].
4) i am completely happy with my $29.99 free and clear plan.
5) the free and clear plan is no longer available to new customers.
6) therefore i must sign up for a $39.99 fair and flexible plan, because

or i can just wait for the phone to go on sale and buy the damn thing without worrying about the rebate. or i could buy one on ebay again. or i could steal paul's.

or i could call customer service and see what kind of magic i can work.

what i CAN'T do is keep using this phone indefinitely, because it's either going to fall apart [literally] or possibly electrocute me while i'm using it.

Posted on Sunday, August 20, 2006 at 06:34PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments16 Comments

Reader Comments (16)

I am totally with you on this one. I HATE SPRINT!
Aug 20, 2006 at 07:30PM | Unregistered Commenterrachel mcH
Try customer service. It's the seventh circle of hell and you'll probably be into them for an additional two years on your contract, but you can probably get a deal on a free upgrade.

PS That phone is even sadder than the dinosaur that I use. At least mine is all in one piece, but that's because it didn't come with a flip top.
Aug 20, 2006 at 08:24PM | Unregistered CommenterTB
phone companies are horrible, and I don't understand why we have no choice but to use them.
Aug 20, 2006 at 10:27PM | Unregistered Commenterrachel
mch - i've actually been okay with sprint, but i'm a pretty low maintenance customer. and that's the thing: i don't need much, so i don't ask for much, and frankly i don't NEED a plan that costs $10 more, so why dost thou torture me so with silly rules?

tb - i'm trying the customer service route tomorrow. i've never asked for anything, but i know for a fact that they have treated paul and his wife very well in the past, so i'll give it a shot. and the phone only broke about 24 hours ago... hence the sudden need for a new one!

rachel - exAAAAActly. they do terrible things JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN. it's excruciating.
Aug 20, 2006 at 10:38PM | Registered Commentermdog
Man, thanks for reminding me why I don't have one of those. I like being untouchable even more now than I did 10 minutes ago.
Aug 20, 2006 at 11:17PM | Unregistered CommenterMisty
I was in the Sprint/Nextel store for an hour just the other day, with my second defective phone in a row, demanding that they replace it for free. It took me and Mr. Stapler (via phone. He is an attorney) an hour, but we got the damn phone replaced.

As I was waiting for dorkus to "get approval" to make the swap, about the 5th irritated customer in an hour came in. He was extra-irritated and yelling.

I said to the salespeople "It must suck to work in an environment with such a weird business model as this, where you just basically say to customers "You're going to have to bend over and take it, and it's going to hurt, but it is all we can do because that's the way it is."

They looked at me like 1) I was nuts and 2) I had discovered their deepest secret.
Aug 21, 2006 at 11:05AM | Unregistered CommenterSuebob
customer service!
customer service!
customer service!
customer service!
customer service!
customer service!
Aug 21, 2006 at 12:07PM | Unregistered Commenteramo
confidential to my readers: ironically, misty just called me FROM A CELL PHONE about an hour ago.

suebob - LOVE IT.

i wonder what amo wants me to do.
Aug 21, 2006 at 12:22PM | Registered Commentermdog
Ok, so since I'm now employed at a place where phone calls are super-monitored, I decided I needed a crash course in working the SO's cell phone. That thing comes with an off-switch! My favorite feature already.
Aug 21, 2006 at 10:46PM | Unregistered CommenterMisty
well at least i know the so's number now, so i'll be more likely to answer when you call. my least favorite feature of my phone [other than the deteriorating hinge] is that it turns off erratically and for no reason at all. arrrgh.
Aug 21, 2006 at 11:08PM | Registered Commentermdog
Man, I have missed a lot not checking your blog lately.

First, LOL @ freaky phone stores! That was my exact same thought. Why all that space? I mean they ARE selling cell phones.... that are supposed to be small!

I love my new phone. I loved my old phone. I have never had problems with Sprint, but I too am now maintenance. The "no plans under $35 sucks."

I would call Sprint, but don't use their website or you will REALLY be frustrated.

Looking forward to the update!

And why do new sign ups get a free bluetooth earpiece, while I, a 10 year loyal customer, do not?
Aug 22, 2006 at 03:38PM | Unregistered Commenterpaul
you could join cingular and then we would have mobile to mobile minutes...

that could create a monster
Aug 22, 2006 at 10:27PM | Unregistered Commenterkt
dear god. can you imagine?
Aug 23, 2006 at 12:29AM | Registered Commentermdog

Not even I, dearest Maria, can imagine that.

Aug 25, 2006 at 08:49AM | Unregistered CommenterGod

holy shit.
Aug 25, 2006 at 09:42AM | Registered Commentermdog
LOL... and then you swore in front of God.

Well, I suppose every time you swear is technically in front of God.
Aug 26, 2006 at 10:08AM | Unregistered Commenterkt

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