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so, i almost went speed dating tonight.

[here's the part where i pause to allow rachel to do a little chair cheer].

to bring the unknown up to speed [so to speak]: room of people, one-on-one talking for five minutes, move on to the next person, mingle all together later, trade info at that point if you desire.

i saw a blurb about it on the local library website. which was apparently the ONLY blurb about it, but i will get to that momentarily. i was both mortified and intrigued by the idea, so i enlisted a friend for solidarity and accompaniment; she knew people that had attended the last one and said she would get more information. the reconnaissance mission came back with bad news: according to prior participants, there seemed to be quite a creepiness factor. also keep in mind this is a small town, and perhaps not an enormous pool to draw from, i.e. not likely to be much different this time around.

so i suggested a stakeout. i let my friend off the hook and said i would do a little browsing slash reading slash monitoring from a safe distance, and call her if things looked... promising. i showed up about half an hour early, found an anne lamott book and a suitable reading location, and read peacefully for awhile. registration was to start at 6:30, and "interviews" at 7:00. after a while i realized/thought that i couldn't actually see anyone walking in, as the whole ordeal was set up in a room off of the immediate entrance, in the lobby between the outer doors and inner doors.

hmmmmm. i see there is no way i can get a better position, and come up with plan b [which ironically enough, was the name of the lamott book i was, at this point, not really reading]. i decide that i will keep 'reading' for awhile before making my way out to assess the situation. while waiting, i observe a man coming in and out of the lobby, obviously involved in setting up the registration process. also: i panic. by the time 6:50 rolls around, i have pretty much decided to chicken out, but am allowing a sliver of possibility that i will ignore all the bones in my body that are screaming please leave, don't go through with this, have you gone completely mad?

i walk out and realize that there is a reason i couldn't see anyone walk in. in the lobby, there is a table, and the man behind the table, and at that moment three women talking to the man behind the table about the speed dating. or perhaps more accurately, the lack of speed dating. because behind all of this is... an empty room.

might want to do a little more advertising next time, folks.

well, if nothing else... it certainly was speedy. 

Posted on Thursday, March 29, 2007 at 11:30PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments7 Comments

Reader Comments (7)

it's like "ladies night" at a bar. They advertise it, and only men show up.

Mar 29, 2007 at 11:46PM | Unregistered Commenterpaul

I'm very impressed you stuck around and even considered it!;)

Mar 30, 2007 at 07:46AM | Unregistered Commentercd

I'm also impressed at your willingness to scope this out.

I wonder if all the creepy people from previous sessions have paired off?

The only speed dating event I've ever wanted to try was one I heard about online: singles met at a library and brought a copy of one of their favorite books, and instead of doing the usual chit-chatty stuff, they spent a few minutes talking with each person about the books they brought.

Actually, to me this just sounds like a fun event, dating or no dating.

But alas, this one was in New York or something.

Mar 30, 2007 at 02:49PM | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Oh MAN. I'm so dissapointed. This would have made for excellent blog fodder. Promise you'll try to go again, kay?

Apr 2, 2007 at 07:42AM | Unregistered CommenterTB

I hate dating. No wonder I stuck with my ex for 5 years even though I knew at 6 months it wasn't going to work.

Apr 3, 2007 at 11:44AM | Unregistered CommenterSuebob

Maybe everyone was doing the same thing you were...

Apr 3, 2007 at 12:01PM | Unregistered Commentersuper des

tb - that is actually part of the reason i was willing to check this out: blog material! i am sick.

suebob - five years? seriously? and i thought i was stubborn.

des - i was definitely scoping out the possibility that other people were scoping out the possibilities. however, the only people within feasible stalking distance of the doors were a married couple with their little girl and what appeared to be a grandfather/granddaughter combination. um, welcome, by the way. i can't remember if you've posted here before or not. :)

Apr 3, 2007 at 12:51PM | Registered Commentermdog

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