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i was in bed. couldn't sleep. so now i'm [stupidly] blogging, stream of consciousness style. all the events and extrapolations swirling through my mind were more conducive to emotional release than to slumber, apparently. living in a small college town can really mess with your priorities. everyone and their brother has a graduate degree, and if you don't have one, then you're constantly being asked if you've thought about getting yours? yeah i think about it every freaking time someone ASKS me and that's about it. i don't want one, i don't really care, and i have to keep reminding myself that no, it is not an aberration for someone to have a bachelor's degree, and most populated areas do not actually have ninety-eight ph.d.s per square mile. here's the thing: i just want to work. i don't really need what i do for a living to be a world-changing thing, which is good because really? there's never going to be anything groundbreaking happening in the world of accounting. maybe that's lazy, but i think it's just realistic. i love when i tell people i'm an accountant and they're all, nooooo... you don't SEEM like an accountant! i take it as a compliment. because obviously, if you know me, you know i'm TOTALLY like an accountant. but i guess i'm not immediately boring, it seems. i know full well that i don't find my identity in accountancy. i want to do a good job, but that's about it. because for me, work is not life. life is people. and i fully admit that about twice a week i say to myself, or maybe the inside of my car, I HATE PEOPLE, but that's only when they're driving down west union at twelve miles an hour. but it is the people part of my life that i want to be a world-changing thing. i don't give a damn about what i do from eight-to-five in the big scheme of things; moreover, i LIKE not giving a damn about what i do from eight-to-five in the big scheme of things. i can't care about EVERYTHING, you know. but... who did i have lunch with today? who calls me and reads to me from funny books to cheer me up? who can i call or chat with for advice or encouragement? these are the important things. these are the things that keep me alive. these are the things that change the world. i'm not a high-powered executive, my story isn't going to be read in forbes or fortune or even people magazine, my accounting prowess is not going to be looked upon with awe. i don't care about those things. do i have people i can call up at three in the morning? do i have people that will give me hugs if i need them? do i have people i can share my life with? do i have people that support me? encourage me? walk with me? this is how i want to be successful. and while i may want to quit my job every day for weeks at a time, i find comfort in knowing i have people who are willing to sit and listen to me complain about how i want to quit my job every day for weeks at a time. i may be overwhelmed with sheer inanity and lack of organizational structure and absence of validation at work, but i am overwhelmed with the people around me who care about me and love me and appreciate me and who are willing to actually tell me and remind me of these things. because i need to be told these things. perhaps want is a better word, but sometimes the want is so great that it does become a need. we are broken, vulnerable people and we need people around us who will help us heal and who will hold our hearts gently in their hands. this is where my life's focus rests. not with work, but with people. i am reminded today that i am surrounded by good people. this is my success.
Posted on Thursday, June 21, 2007 at 12:12AM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments9 Comments

Reader Comments (9)


Jun 21, 2007 at 09:28AM | Unregistered Commentermar

Amen sista.

Jun 21, 2007 at 11:22AM | Unregistered Commentersuper des

wow. this is a powerful post. i wish that i had what you have. i've been struggling with work-life-balance lately and apparently the NCAA is also concerned about it on a national level. i want the people part along with the work part. but how do you get both? you are inspiring me for my own post! thank you.

Jun 21, 2007 at 12:12PM | Unregistered Commenterjoy

Exactly! I want to spend my life being around people I love and doing things I enjoy, not working to pay for lots of expensive things everybody tells me I need. The American Dream is a nightmare.

Jun 21, 2007 at 12:28PM | Unregistered CommenterIan

preach it, sister! i whole-heartedly agree.

Jun 21, 2007 at 12:42PM | Unregistered Commenterann-marie

Sounds like this might make an interesting and powerful chapter in a book if someone would someday write one. hypothetically speaking of course.

Jun 21, 2007 at 03:30PM | Unregistered CommenterJim

being in Athens really did make me feel like what i decided to do for a living defined me. anymore, i sure hope it doesn't define me. i like your thoughts a ton.

Jun 21, 2007 at 04:10PM | Unregistered CommenterJen B

Jeez, no wonder you couldn't sleep with all that swirling in your brain.
And you're so right. It's people who matter. Well, except for the ones that drive like assholes ;o)

Jun 22, 2007 at 08:03AM | Unregistered CommenterTB

i feel the same way. corporate america also tries to make you feel like what you do defines you, and i just want to come here, do a reasonably good job, and go home. i don't want to climb the ladder. i have no interest in an executive-level position. i want to be available to spend time and laugh and cry with the people i love and to meet new people to love and to not have to skip out on those things in order to chase someone else's idea of what the "good life" is. i think we need to pick a name for our cause and start promoting and protecting it. work does not have to define us. it's find if people want it to, but they shouldn't expect that everyone wants it to.

Jun 22, 2007 at 01:54PM | Unregistered CommenterErin

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