« hooked | Main | cover letter fantasy »


it has not been the best of nights.
this whole thing should earn a far longer post, but quite frankly, i just can't even deal with the thought of that right now. suffice to say that i believe my car's gas gauge is broken. tonight's hero was beth, and for her multiple trips to the gas station, her witnessing of several streams of profanities, and a jeep that now reeks of gasoline, she earns a gazillion mini cheesecake thingies with blueberry topping. yeah, that's right. a gazillion.
finally made it home at 9pm, only to step out into snow deep enough to cover my ankles and did i mention i was still in my dress clothes? get inside, SLAM my keys down, THROW my bag across the apartment [all the way into the spare bedroom], and stand there being upset that i don't have ANYTHING ELSE TO THROW. i decide to put on my boots and shovel the front porch. controlled, useful throwing, i figure.
i sort of enjoy shoveling the front porch. a glorified term really. it's not even big. just slabs of concrete i share with the two neighbors in my triplex. they haven't been here long. i'm the only one with a shovel. i even have salt. i like shoveling the porch for all of us. if it was just for me i probably wouldn't even bother. i decide to shovel a little shovel-sized path from the porch to each of our cars. through the grass, mind you. it makes me smile.
my whopping seven minutes of shoveling is finished. it is cold out. it is clear. calm. i sit down on the freshly shoveled porch, dress clothes and wool coat and all, holding the shovel in front of me, leaning my head against it. i sit like this for awhile. quiet. i look up to the sky, and over the snow-covered... well, everything. the snow makes everything seem soft, gentle. i look back up at the sky. i realize that i am thankful. things could have been much, much worse. but they weren't. i am thankful. i sigh. i press my forehead against the shovel again and close my eyes. i'm suddenly on the verge of crying but basically just sort of decide not to. i sit for awhile longer. i contemplate making a snow angel. finally i get up. i throw some salt across the concrete and head inside.
i never did make a snow angel. but i'm okay with that. i'm okay.
Posted on Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 11:44PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments5 Comments

Reader Comments (5)


sorry to hear about your rough night. hooray for beth and hooray for shoveling snow as opposed to throwing objects around the apartment. much healthier choice. and far less likely to result in the unintentional breaking of something valuable. :)

Jan 25, 2008 at 01:59AM | Unregistered Commentersjw

snow angel. :)

Jan 25, 2008 at 06:57AM | Unregistered Commenterpaul

i did that when i got into a fender bender on tuesday. decided not to cry when i was on the verge of it.

and then decided i was thankful, too.

Jan 25, 2008 at 10:01AM | Unregistered Commentergwyneth

That was a beautiful post. I felt like I couldn't read any faster.

I didn't know there was going to be blueberry topping! I would drive all night for you :)

Jan 25, 2008 at 04:57PM | Unregistered Commenterbeth

I thought you were going to say... and then I locked myself outside.

When's that book coming out again, M?

Jan 25, 2008 at 10:53PM | Unregistered Commenterrachel

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>