traveling mercies

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And even though I am a feminist and even though I am religious, I secretly believe, in some mean little rat part of my brain, that I AM my skin, my hair, and worst of all, those triangles of fat that pooch at the top of my thighs. In other words, that I am my packaging. Even though both feminism and Christianity have taught me that I am my spirit, my heart, all that I have survived over the years and all that I have given, still a funny thing happened ... I looked in the mirror, and sighed, and thought to myself, I will cut my eyes out.

Then this little-kid voice, this Tweety-bird voice, said, "We need to pray." I sighed again. Eventually I lowered my face into the palms of my hands. I know you have bigger fish to fry, I said to God, but I need a little help with this stupidity.

(p. 172)

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I was trying to spend less time thinking about what I see and more time thinking about why I see it that way -- why I continue, off and on, to see these nice sturdy high-functioning thighs with such contempt. It's so troubling to relapse in this area, especially since somewhere along the line, I have actually come to believe that a person being herself is beautiful -- that contentment and acceptance and freedom are beautiful. And most important, I have discovered I am clinically and objectively beautiful.

I really mean this in the literal sense. I believe that if you saw me, you would say, "Wow! What a beautiful woman."

I think.

I'm almost sure.

Until recently, I was afraid to say that I am beautiful out loud for fear that people would look at each other with amusement and think to themselves, Well, isn't that nice. But somehow I was not afraid to say it anymore.

(p. 200-201)

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- from traveling mercies, by anne lamott

Posted on Wednesday, November 8, 2006 at 12:18PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments11 Comments

ohio: no on 4, yes on 5

smokefreeoh.gifso... i hate politics. i hate that i'm even posting this on my blog. but issue 4 is, among other things, 1) backed by the r.j. reynolds tobacco company, 2) would actually REPEAL current smoking bans, and 3) is outrageously labeled smoke less ohio. i'm not nearly as stupid as they hope i am.
 
issue 5 is SMOKE FREE OHIO. i am mdog and i approve this issue.
Posted on Monday, November 6, 2006 at 10:19AM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments12 Comments

different world

okay, so, where I grew up, when roads were going to be closed for planned construction, THEY GAVE US SOME FREAKING ADVANCE WARNING. imagine my surprise at almost running over people nonchalantly setting up ROAD CLOSED signs on what is ALREADY my alternate route into work. if they start working on the only remaining exit out of town, i'm taking up hot air ballooning.
 
this area of the state makes me crazy sometimes. and i can't WAIT for all the cinder to be scattered on the roadways for the next seven months. because that's sooooooooooo helpful. we won't melt the ice with salt, we'll just give you a little traction so you can slide around less. hey, thanks.
Posted on Friday, November 3, 2006 at 08:31AM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments8 Comments

guilty pleasures

i still jump onto the back of the grocery cart and ride it to my car when i'm done shopping.

every time. 

Posted on Thursday, November 2, 2006 at 06:37PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments5 Comments

lights out

i was pulled over last night on my less-than-two-mile drive home from my friends' apartment. i was sort of amused because we had been discussing tickets and traffic stops earlier in the evening, but mostly i was irritated since i was SERIOUSLY ALMOST HOME.
 
not to worry; he quickly and politely informed me that my rear license plate light was out. thankfully the trooper did not mind me slightly exceeding the speed limit, nor did he care about the fact that my rearview mirror is STILL sliding around in my backseat, instead of being firmly attached to my windshield.
 
hopefully i will be able to remedy these two automotive problems when i get home, in this surprisingly warm late october evening.
Posted on Monday, October 30, 2006 at 04:15PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments5 Comments

am i medicated?

i think this to myself at work about every other day. is it really necessary for everyone to freak out about EVERYTHING? note to my co-workers: the world will not stop spinning if we fail to solve every minor annoyance five minutes ago. and my calm demeanor never seems to have an effect, which ironically MAKES ME WANT TO HIT THESE PEOPLE, OVER AND OVER.
 
maybe i just don't care enough. or maybe these people need to watch some bob ross. or just calm down and eat some fruit or something
Posted on Friday, October 27, 2006 at 03:41PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments5 Comments

observations

this morning i had to defrost my car. also this morning, i followed a fifty-something male in a black audi tt WITH THE TOP DOWN. seriously, dude: it's thirty degrees out. nothing screams mid-life crisis like an idiot in a shiny car, freezing himself to death.
 
speaking of being thirty degrees out: i have been resisting, but i finally broke out the wool coat last night. i walked uptown for lunch on monday [monday, do you remember monday? the day that brief flurries of SNOW fell from the sky? yes, THAT monday], a lightweight khaki jacket my only outerwear. clearly i missed the weather report. however, i stupidly marched on with only the khaki jacket on tuesday as well. and though i didn't trudge around outside for lunch, it was still mighty cold walking from building to building, even for only minutes at a time. today i gave in: the wool coat and scarf made their appearance. and you know what? i forgot how warm that thing is. and cozy; very cozy. cold? it scoffs. what cold? i laugh at the wind. winter be damned! it sounds weird, but my coat is the favorite part of my day today. now i just need to find someplace where i can get it relined and get the various tears on the inside fixed, so i don't go from hey, what a nice professional looking coat while i'm walking around, to hey, is she a hobo? when i take it off.
Posted on Wednesday, October 25, 2006 at 12:28PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments5 Comments

indexed

i've totally been enjoying this website for awhile now. and i'm finally getting around to posting for your enjoyment. because i love you. who knew charts and venn diagrams could be so fun?

 

Fuddy Duddy

distance.jpg 

 
And then the witch fell in the oven:

halloween.jpg 


Pow: right in the face:

cheney.jpg 


Vrrrrrooooom!:

vrrrrrooooom.jpg 

 

go visit indexed for more.

Posted on Tuesday, October 24, 2006 at 02:58PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments2 Comments

meh

I am indifferent.

this is a question on one of those online personality tests. you have five options for your answer, ranging from "very inaccurate" to "very accurate".

i know you can't fail these sorts of tests, but it seems like there is definitely one incorrect answer here...

Posted on Monday, October 23, 2006 at 11:01PM by Registered Commentermdog | CommentsPost a Comment

human quaalude

 
apparently that is what makes me want to watch bob ross create happy little trees for hours on end.
 
never in my life have i wanted to paint, nor have i had the urge to become a painter, nor have i ever particularly desired to watch painters paint on nationally televised programs. and yet i just spent twenty minutes of my life watching him form a mountain landscape out of nothing. my thumb hovered over the remote as i internally listed all the reasons why it was ridiculous to keep watching. i don't paint! i don't know the first thing about painting! there is no reason to kee--ooooooo, pretty waterfall...
 
i've always found his constant stream of consciousness monologue both ingratiating and infuriating. on the one hand, you wonder if he will ever shut up; on the other hand, it's what makes him so genuinely endearing. well, that and the huge fluffy afro.
 
catching the joy of painting is a little like falling through a double time warp: recorded mostly in the 80's, it already looked like it was recorded in the 60's, and finding it on pbs nowadays makes me stop for a minute and wonder how old i actually am. i know i can't be the only kid that was mesmerized by this calm soothing man on occasional afternoons after school.
 
and now i've not only spent part of my life watching bob ross, i've also spent part of my life writing a post about bob ross. wonders never cease.
Posted on Saturday, October 21, 2006 at 04:04PM by Registered Commentermdog | Comments14 Comments