Entries from April 3, 2005 - April 9, 2005
mdog
3 Comments
strangest yet
to whomever was searching for starbucks formaldehyde... wtf?
real sex 2
so i've finally gotten, and gotten around to reading, this book [if you don't know what i'm talking about, browse here]. it's quite interesting so far.
"A story that my friend Carrie shared with me may illustrate. Carrie was two years out of college, living in Minneapolis in a funky, rambling Victorian with six other Christian women. Her boyfriend, Thad, lived down the block. Carrie and Thad were not having sex, but they were doing everything but having sex, including spending the night with each other regularly. And of course none of Carrie's roommates knew for sure that they weren't having sex -- all they knew was that Carrie and Thad spent a lot of nighttime hours together in his apartment. But not one of Carrie's roomies ever asked her a single question about what was going on behind closed doors. No one ever posed a loving inquiry, or a gentle rebuke, or even an oblique offer of an ear. Probably Carrie and Thad's friends were simply made uncomfortable by the prospect of raising the tough issues of sex and chastity. They probably did not want to intrude, or seem nosy.
But the Bible tells us to intrude -- or rather, the Bible tells us that talking to one another about what is really going on in our lives is in fact not an intrusion at all, because what's going on in my life is already your concern; by dint of the baptism that made me your sister, my joys are your joys and my crises are your crises. We are called to speak to one another lovingly, to be sure, and with edifying, rather than gossipy or hurtful, goals. But we are called nonetheless to transform seemingly private matters into communal matters. Of course, premarital sexual behavior is just one of many instances of this larger point. Christians also need to speak courageously and transparently, for example, about the seemingly private matters of Christian marriage -- there would be, I suspect, a lot fewer divorces in the church if married Christians exposed their domestic lives, ther fights and tensions and squabbles, to loving wisdom, advice, and sometimes rebuke from their community. Christians might claim less credit-card debt if small-group members shared their bank account statements with one another. I suspect that if my best friend had permission to scrutinize my Day-timer, I would inhabit time better. Speaking to one another about our sexual selves is just one (admittedly risky) instance of a larger piece of Christian discipleship: being community with each other.
- Lauren Winner, Real Sex, p. 53
living in today's individualized western society, where relativism is the status quo, these are insanely counter cultural thoughts. outright asking fellow brothers and sisters? about their sex lives? goodness, no. there have been situations with good friends where i toyed with the idea -- part of me did indeed feel the pull, the concern of sharing responsibility for their well-being that lauren points out -- but the part of me that felt oddly voyeuristic about asking such personal questions ultimately kept me from following through.
i could go on but i'll stop for now. anyone out there: thoughts on sex? accountability? community?
"A story that my friend Carrie shared with me may illustrate. Carrie was two years out of college, living in Minneapolis in a funky, rambling Victorian with six other Christian women. Her boyfriend, Thad, lived down the block. Carrie and Thad were not having sex, but they were doing everything but having sex, including spending the night with each other regularly. And of course none of Carrie's roommates knew for sure that they weren't having sex -- all they knew was that Carrie and Thad spent a lot of nighttime hours together in his apartment. But not one of Carrie's roomies ever asked her a single question about what was going on behind closed doors. No one ever posed a loving inquiry, or a gentle rebuke, or even an oblique offer of an ear. Probably Carrie and Thad's friends were simply made uncomfortable by the prospect of raising the tough issues of sex and chastity. They probably did not want to intrude, or seem nosy.
But the Bible tells us to intrude -- or rather, the Bible tells us that talking to one another about what is really going on in our lives is in fact not an intrusion at all, because what's going on in my life is already your concern; by dint of the baptism that made me your sister, my joys are your joys and my crises are your crises. We are called to speak to one another lovingly, to be sure, and with edifying, rather than gossipy or hurtful, goals. But we are called nonetheless to transform seemingly private matters into communal matters. Of course, premarital sexual behavior is just one of many instances of this larger point. Christians also need to speak courageously and transparently, for example, about the seemingly private matters of Christian marriage -- there would be, I suspect, a lot fewer divorces in the church if married Christians exposed their domestic lives, ther fights and tensions and squabbles, to loving wisdom, advice, and sometimes rebuke from their community. Christians might claim less credit-card debt if small-group members shared their bank account statements with one another. I suspect that if my best friend had permission to scrutinize my Day-timer, I would inhabit time better. Speaking to one another about our sexual selves is just one (admittedly risky) instance of a larger piece of Christian discipleship: being community with each other.
- Lauren Winner, Real Sex, p. 53
living in today's individualized western society, where relativism is the status quo, these are insanely counter cultural thoughts. outright asking fellow brothers and sisters? about their sex lives? goodness, no. there have been situations with good friends where i toyed with the idea -- part of me did indeed feel the pull, the concern of sharing responsibility for their well-being that lauren points out -- but the part of me that felt oddly voyeuristic about asking such personal questions ultimately kept me from following through.
i could go on but i'll stop for now. anyone out there: thoughts on sex? accountability? community?
the end
wednesday we woke up ridiculously
late and steeled ourselves for our last full walking day in boston.
planning largely around my knee and stomach, our first stop was copley
square, where we were pleasantly surprised. hopping off the T, we were
greeted by the stately boston public library and the historically
quaint home/structure/memorial of a poet whose name i did not recognize
and have now clearly forgotten. we browsed a few stores at the gallery and had
some lunch, and then it was back on the T and off to fenway. we found
fenway park and wondered how anyone at the high school RIGHT NEXT DOOR
TO THE FIELD could ever keep their concentration when baseball season
is in full swing. we circled back to the green line and headed off to
get cultured. i stopped at the museum of fine arts to rest, while tiff
continued on a few stops to a different museum to pick up some
brochures for her sister. rachel arrived at mfa and we began to
explore. tiff caught up with us by the renoirs, but we all ended up
finding our own ways through the labyrinth of rooms upon rooms. we saw
a "punk" baby jesus and also lots of [artistic] boobies. naomi arrived
and we ended up browsing one collection by damien hirst which included
a stuffed lamb encased and conserved in formaldehyde; seven square
feet of flies covered in resin; and a large spinning disc splattered
with paint with an obnoxiously long title. at this point, we parted
ways with rachel for the final time and headed to naomi's for our final
night in boston. we ate homemade chili as alias played in the background. we lounged around, hanging out until naomi had to go to bed, for real
this time. tiff and i switched on the news and watched, in disbelief,
the weather forecasts predicting up to twelve inches of snow in the
boston area overnight. we eventually went to sleep, hoping for safe
driving conditions for our pending travel.
we woke the next morning to find... wet roads. not a snowflake to be found! relieved, we readied for our last quest. throughout our entire week in the city, it seemed we couldn't walk a block or two without seeing a particular chain[?] of vendors, selling boston shirts and souvenirs. by wednesday tiff and i had decided that we wanted some particular shirts from these vendors; but oddly enough, when this time came THEY WERE SUDDENLY NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. we vowed that on thursday morning, we would venture back into downtown boston and FIND THESE VENDORS before heading back to ohio. we scoped haymarket, quincy market and faneuil hall, various streetcorners, places we had seen these shirt sellers with our very eyes: alas, a plague had befallen them and there were none to be found. sigh. though saddened by this setback, we found suitable replacements in the quincy market and faneuil hall area, and boarded the T for our last time. we packed up my little cavalier, conquered the parking garage machine, and headed for the big dig. now, personally, the thought of driving in boston scares the heebie jeebies out of me [and this was even before i heard that boston drivers are oft referred to as "massholes"]. but tiff had a sick fascination of actually desiring to drive through boston's $14 billion underground highway system, so off we went. driving though an underground tunnel with its own underground exits was weird and slightly disconcerting, but fun nonetheless. we made it through, and after some mild confusion we were on i-90 and heading west. we traveled much of the interstate highway system, driving through massachusetts, connecticut, new york and pennsylvania before hitting ohio. on our last leg of the night, i-80 turned into a toll road. tiff rolled down the window, grabbed the ticket, and we were on our way. however, i noticed some struggle and confusion and a very icy wind. at 9:30 in the evening in thirty degree weather, my window had decided it was tired and was going to stay open, no matter how many times we jabbed the button to go "up". we threw on our coats, scarves, gloves and hats and decided we would stop at the next travel plaza -- fifteen miles ahead -- for some starbucks and hopefully a garbage bag, tape and a plan. we pulled in, thankful for the lack of 60mph winds rushing through the car. and then, inexplicably, the window rolled back to life. "well, we're done," tiff bemusedly announced. we shrugged and continued on to her sister's, where we eventually turned in and had a nice long night's sleep.
friday morning we took our time getting ready, and met tiff's sister at work [a museum] for lunch. after lack of any kind of service at our first try, we ended up at a restaurant where there were actually servers that came right to our table and took our orders [a concept that Restaurant #1 really needs to work on]. we browsed the museum for the rest of the afternoon while tiff's sister had to actually work and stuff. she managed to leave early and we met her at the museum store, where i bought a huge photography book for an amazingly discounted price. afterwards, the evening was spent looking through photos, being entertained by joxyr, ordering out from little italy, and renting intellectually stimulating movies like ice age and harold and kumar go to white castle.
saturday was another lazy morning. tiff's sister cooked us all breakfast, while tiff and i made a starbucks run. after a quick jump in the shower and some final packing, we were ready for the last portion of our journey. we said our goodbyes and headed home. we stopped for gas at some point, where tiff bought a deck of u.s. states playing cards and was waited on by a creepy cashier lady; i bought some good old mcdonald's french fries, which at this point in the trip brought the amount of cash on my person to about forty-eight cents. [mental note: used cash instead of credit card much more often than i would have preferred on this trip.] we were about two hours from home at this point, but for some reason i felt i could have driven forever. we had spent over an entire week together, much of it exclusively so, and we had survived boston and each other and had an altogether amazing time. i didn't want it to end, not only because it would mean the closure of yet another road trip, but also because it would bring us one step closer to the end of spring break/vacation and to the beginning of the quarter/daily grind. ah, but all good things must come to an end... we arrived at tiff's and unloaded, and i drove my now oddly empty cavalier home to give it some rest. as with the famous fall color tour of october, it was a little unsettling to be in the car all alone after so much constant traveling with an ever-present friend... but at least this time, the drive was only ten minutes instead of three hours.
...
and there you have it: the end. a hearty thanks to naomi and rachel, who put up with our crazy schedules all week; and my own personal thank you to tiff, who put up with ME all week. there are a mere handful of people with whom i think i could road trip with and have a continuously enjoyable time; you are certainly one of them. thank you for the incredible sojourn.
and if you've made it this far, dear readers, i offer my congratulations and amazement.
good night.
we woke the next morning to find... wet roads. not a snowflake to be found! relieved, we readied for our last quest. throughout our entire week in the city, it seemed we couldn't walk a block or two without seeing a particular chain[?] of vendors, selling boston shirts and souvenirs. by wednesday tiff and i had decided that we wanted some particular shirts from these vendors; but oddly enough, when this time came THEY WERE SUDDENLY NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. we vowed that on thursday morning, we would venture back into downtown boston and FIND THESE VENDORS before heading back to ohio. we scoped haymarket, quincy market and faneuil hall, various streetcorners, places we had seen these shirt sellers with our very eyes: alas, a plague had befallen them and there were none to be found. sigh. though saddened by this setback, we found suitable replacements in the quincy market and faneuil hall area, and boarded the T for our last time. we packed up my little cavalier, conquered the parking garage machine, and headed for the big dig. now, personally, the thought of driving in boston scares the heebie jeebies out of me [and this was even before i heard that boston drivers are oft referred to as "massholes"]. but tiff had a sick fascination of actually desiring to drive through boston's $14 billion underground highway system, so off we went. driving though an underground tunnel with its own underground exits was weird and slightly disconcerting, but fun nonetheless. we made it through, and after some mild confusion we were on i-90 and heading west. we traveled much of the interstate highway system, driving through massachusetts, connecticut, new york and pennsylvania before hitting ohio. on our last leg of the night, i-80 turned into a toll road. tiff rolled down the window, grabbed the ticket, and we were on our way. however, i noticed some struggle and confusion and a very icy wind. at 9:30 in the evening in thirty degree weather, my window had decided it was tired and was going to stay open, no matter how many times we jabbed the button to go "up". we threw on our coats, scarves, gloves and hats and decided we would stop at the next travel plaza -- fifteen miles ahead -- for some starbucks and hopefully a garbage bag, tape and a plan. we pulled in, thankful for the lack of 60mph winds rushing through the car. and then, inexplicably, the window rolled back to life. "well, we're done," tiff bemusedly announced. we shrugged and continued on to her sister's, where we eventually turned in and had a nice long night's sleep.
friday morning we took our time getting ready, and met tiff's sister at work [a museum] for lunch. after lack of any kind of service at our first try, we ended up at a restaurant where there were actually servers that came right to our table and took our orders [a concept that Restaurant #1 really needs to work on]. we browsed the museum for the rest of the afternoon while tiff's sister had to actually work and stuff. she managed to leave early and we met her at the museum store, where i bought a huge photography book for an amazingly discounted price. afterwards, the evening was spent looking through photos, being entertained by joxyr, ordering out from little italy, and renting intellectually stimulating movies like ice age and harold and kumar go to white castle.
saturday was another lazy morning. tiff's sister cooked us all breakfast, while tiff and i made a starbucks run. after a quick jump in the shower and some final packing, we were ready for the last portion of our journey. we said our goodbyes and headed home. we stopped for gas at some point, where tiff bought a deck of u.s. states playing cards and was waited on by a creepy cashier lady; i bought some good old mcdonald's french fries, which at this point in the trip brought the amount of cash on my person to about forty-eight cents. [mental note: used cash instead of credit card much more often than i would have preferred on this trip.] we were about two hours from home at this point, but for some reason i felt i could have driven forever. we had spent over an entire week together, much of it exclusively so, and we had survived boston and each other and had an altogether amazing time. i didn't want it to end, not only because it would mean the closure of yet another road trip, but also because it would bring us one step closer to the end of spring break/vacation and to the beginning of the quarter/daily grind. ah, but all good things must come to an end... we arrived at tiff's and unloaded, and i drove my now oddly empty cavalier home to give it some rest. as with the famous fall color tour of october, it was a little unsettling to be in the car all alone after so much constant traveling with an ever-present friend... but at least this time, the drive was only ten minutes instead of three hours.
...
and there you have it: the end. a hearty thanks to naomi and rachel, who put up with our crazy schedules all week; and my own personal thank you to tiff, who put up with ME all week. there are a mere handful of people with whom i think i could road trip with and have a continuously enjoyable time; you are certainly one of them. thank you for the incredible sojourn.
and if you've made it this far, dear readers, i offer my congratulations and amazement.
good night.
