next time you encounter a you're-all-going-to-hell street preacher, gather everyone around and cheer him on. agree with everything he says, happily and with gusto. and report back to me. i want to know what happens.

 

now, i know we're supposedly on the "same side." so why is it that all i want to do is just straight up punch this guy?  

when the bug slash insect slash winged creature in the bathtub is big enough that i can SEE IT WITHOUT MY GLASSES, that's not a good sign [contacts are -6.00 for those keeping score]. no screaming or anything [you're not surprised], just a large sigh, a squished kleenex and a coulda-done-without-that-at-7am feeling.

 

okay, NOW i'm actually showering.

 

btw: whose idea was it to have speakers discussing the topic of rest AT EIGHT O'CLOCK ON A SATURDAY MORNING? come on now, people. 

after much manuevering and untangling and even a call to the locksmith, we have a new copier. well, technically we're only testing it, but after an hour or two of equipment wrangling, we damn well better like it. the most notable and welcome difference between the copiers is that this machine does not sound like it is powered by hamsters. and since it is located about seven feet behind me, you can imagine how pleased i am.

at 9am, i woke to discover the alarm clock in my guest bedroom going off. this was confusing for a variety of reasons. it has the same annoying electronic beeeepbeeeepbeeeepbeeeepbeeeep noise as my own regular alarm, so when i initially rolled over, i was groggily wondering why on earth i would have stuffed my clock under a pillow, zipped it up in a duffel bag, cushioned it with towels, and then thrown it into the closet. after confirming that my clock was indeed in the same location it has been for, oh, the past five or six years, i then marvelled at how very LOUD my neighbor's alarm was and my goodness, was she ever going to turn it off? finally i realized the alarm was COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE. in the next room, to be exact. my parents and aunt were here a couple of weeks ago, and apparently my dad never turned off the alarm in that bedroom. and, well, i was gone that following weekend, and i'm out the door by 8am during the week. which means that alarm has been going off at 9am FOR TEN DAYS. i'm just glad that room is so very far away from the wall i share with my neighbor.

 

in other news, i was on the phone with kt tonight, and remarking on my then-current attire.

 

me: i look like i'm going to rob a bank.

kt: ...

me: well... i've got on black cords, and a black t-shirt. i had my white shirt on over it before, but now, i don't, and... i look like... a ninja.

kt: the niña, the pinta, and the ninja maria!

my blog is logging me out every two minutes or so and it is MAKING ME CRAZY.

 

RAWWWRRRRR. 

as mentioned previously, my weekend was spent in a lodge full of women from church. and if you know my church, you know that this is not nearly as boring or torturous as it may sound.

 

on friday night we started off with the excellent idea of "speed mingling". think speed dating, without the pesky element of wondering in the back of your mind if you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person. or getting a phone number. it was a great way of getting forty people to meet and talk with each other, albeit two minutes at a time. hey, i'm all about efficiency.

 

during this stretch of time, i heard a phrase that would be repeated often throughout the weekend: i've always thought you were interesting/cool, and have wanted to get to know you better! and i'm all, wtf? really? i mean, genuinely, it surprised me that such a number of people would think that. the funny thing is that even before this women's retreat, i'd say about a month or so, i'd heard this from several other people as well. so apparently it's not a fluke, but i'm still not sure what to make of it. i'm interesting, but scary to start conversations with? i'm cool, but unapproachable? God, if you're trying to tell me something, i really am not sure what it is. or maybe He's afraid to talk to me, too.

 

this interesting-yet-unapproachable impression seems like both a blessing and a curse: here's a nice ego boost, with room for improvement. yay, people think i'm neat! but, why won't they just talk to me? oh, wait, maybe it's because they're like ME and don't initiate conversation with strangers. so we've got all these neat people who won't talk to each other. totally awesome. i think i'll start wearing a button that says something like You First; I'm Introverted.

 

at any rate, it at least made me feel even more comfortable in my own skin this weekend. i felt myself being a little goofier and more animated than usual; a little more my real self [whoever that is]. knowing how competitive and comparative us women can be, it was nice to know that... well... chicks dig me.

 

now if i can just get this mystique thing to work for me with the boys...