perception versus reality
here at unleashed, i am basically accused of being pompous because... well, i don't know. because i use big words? i think that was it. whatever... i don't mind. i suppose if i didn't know me [what?] i might think this unleashed mdog was trying to "look smart". perception, or reality? i think those who know me know better than that. and those who don't know me can't be expected to know that. you know?
on a certain message board i frequent, it's been a busy day. accusations, misunderstandings, all kinds of good stuff. why? because we've never seen each other. it's hard enough to communicate when you can't see someone's expression and mannerisms... even harder when you've never seen the person. ah, the beauty of the internet... the sense of anonymity reigns supreme.
internet miscommunications aside, it already seems a challenge to discern perception versus reality in our own lives. the gap between what i see and what others see -- in my life and their own -- is often astounding to me. the most amazing people i know claim that they are too this, not enough that, their bodies aren't something, they're terrible at some such thing, etc.... and i want to scream, "why? why do you think this? why can't you see in you what i see in you?!" and of course, the reverse is true if i proceed to point out my own perceived shortcomings... either that or i have very dishonest friends. [just kidding.] funny how that works: clearly, others are living in denial, but me? oh, no. i've got my own self-perception down pat.
all for now. art thou intrigued by mine swill?
mdog
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what's with my neighbors?!
i've got Super DJ and his 6300 watt sound system next door, and the
Parking Idiot and her complete disregard for appropriate vehicular
spacing in the far apartment.
i never even knew their last names, but i miss chuck & jill, and
mark. at least they were quiet and friendly and knew how to park
correctly.
unexpected
as a result of just a few hours of saturday shopping in easton, i am
almost entirely done finding presents for christmas '04. i'm almost
certain that at least a few levels of hell have frozen over.
i do not heart parties
uh-kay. it's now been well over a week since election day here in the states, and letters to the editor are still pouring into my local newspaper. politics is the god of choice around here; i hear that people were crying and depressed over kerry's election loss. has the whole world gone mad, or just my town? we were a lone blue county in a sea of red last tuesday... i never knew such overwhelming political passion existed anywhere in my state, and i've lived in ohio all my life.
a disclaimer: i am not a republican. nor am i a democrat. truth be told, i couldn't have cared less about who was voted in as commander-in-chief; not for lack of interest, but for lack of conviction. i trust both bush and kerry about as far as i can throw them. i almost flipped a coin to help determine my first chad-punch, but decided it would be too distracting to my fellow voters. in the end, america votes, democracy is acheived, the world keeps spinning.
at what point did our nation accept that two political ideologies were enough? at what point did our nation accept that two political ideologies were to be mortal enemies?
on the one hand, i suppose having a distinct party is nice: you know what it is that you're getting into [for better or for worse]. in this respect, any rogue "independent" candidates may be viewed as suspect: much like churches with names like "free universal evangelic liberated discretionary fellowship". this roughly translates to "we don't report to nobody!" -- the independence aspect definitely holds promise, but what ultimately goes down at the end of the day is really anyone's guess.
on the other hand, subscribing to a particular party is bothersome to me. i don't like the thought of being pigeon-holed into a particular belief [or belief system]. i am not so naive as to think that one party holds the panacea to the nation's troubles in its platform. in this respect, those ol' "independent" candidates look rather appealing: free thinkers, unafraid to go against the grain, not tied to a traditional thought process... or perhaps more importantly, not tied to any certain campaign fund.
so much for me and my "i don't talk politics" stand. i'm just so tired of the extremism... have we as a nation lost our minds?
i think i'm going to start telling people i'm a republicrat.
cookies for breakfast
if ever i wrote a book, this would definitely be the title.
Vile Shameless Policy
of the many characteristics that i possess, un-thoroughness is not one of them; neither is incomprehension nor imprecision. funny, then, how i can't seem to make heads or tails of my vision benefits plan. it appears to be laid out quite neatly in the welcome packet, in nice little twelve and twenty-four month blocks. beneath its outward exterior, however, lies an insidious flowchart system.
oh, you can get $105 applied to a set of new frames every twenty-four months, no problem! as long as you never buy contact lenses again for the rest of your natural life. it's been twelve months and you need a new eyeglass prescription? hey, no charge! as long as... well, you don't mind the coke bottle look, do you? you know, with REAL glass lenses? really, it's all the rage! as for those contacts, your optometrist recommends you get new ones every year, so according to the previously mentioned frames policy, you can never buy a backup pair of frames and glasses for the rest of your natural life.
and these are only a few of the discoveries i've made thus far. i mean, seriously. who develops these policies? i'm a college graduate and i don't understand the logic here. explain your policy clearly and i won't complain [okay, well, i'll complain less... maybe]. require that i undergo on-the-spot training in my benefits plan at my optometrist's, making me look like a dimwit, and i'll get angry. sure, i'm in a place, financially, where i can comfortably afford to shell out more money than i was expecting to pay. but what about the next guy? in the area in which i live, it's more likely than not that such a surprise would be a much more difficult burden on your typical customer. that makes me angry.
a policy so bad that you have to shroud its truth from the end users... terrible.
random...shirts?
nice photo work.
and randomphotoshoots?
funny stuff.
[go visit!]
in reverse chronological order, my last hour or two spent in cyberspace [because i know you care... don't lie]: randomshirts [it's where superheroes shop], ebay [i bought my bass -- picture this 5-string, but in black -- brand new for less than these people are trying to unload their used ones for... suckers], gap [i have been attempting for quite some time now to will the classic fit trouser to go on sale so i can buy another pair of these amazing pants; so far it is not working], best-of-craigslist [here are two of my favorites from today that i find clean enough to link in good conscience], austin city limits schedule [i can currently hear sheryl in the living room], pork tornado and various other blogs; and of course, the email.
it's been a randomevening.
rants and raves
- almost, but not quite, sneezing, on a regular basis... booooo.
+ i seem to be on the upswing with this sickness. i actually worked for five whole hours today... yay!
+ i work at the kind of place where i can take random sick hours
and waltz in at 2 or 3pm to still keep up on my work, but they keep
telling me i should go home... yay!
- my neighbor got a new sound system, and apparently has
the bass set to 11. all the time. even after midnight... booooo.
+ i busted out the marshall mathers lp at fairly high volume in an attempt at hardcore passive-aggressivity. no more bass from next door thus far... yay!
+ hanging out with folks tonight for games, cards, and conversation... yay!
+ having various and sundry friends that are joyfully finding
their way in this world, that make decisions with discernment, and that
look to others' interests as well as their own... resounding yay.
i started this expecting more rant than rave... i guess today's a pretty good day.
best laid plans
so i had every intent of making an entry of closure, of summing up all
that i gleaned from this spectacular adventure, of pouring out my heart
in a feat of literary excellence.
not gonna happen.
i've been way more busy than i'd expected. and just when i started
feeling caught up, i went off and got sick. ugh. the incessant sneezing
started about two hours ago, in addition to yesterday's sore throat and
head stuffed with cotton [so it seems].
last night i parked myself on the couch and watched the election festivities between naps. tonight, i can't decide: the pianist, or saved! ?
seven through nine
we stopped by the post office to
relocate "tub", the affectionately
named rubbermaid container with approximately four cubic feet of
rachel's belongings. tub had been transferred from pasadena, to a
corner of my apartment, to the rear passenger side of my car, and now
via the local post office/pharmacy/soda fountain, to its final
destination of rachel's future boston apartment. we parted ways with
todd, off to our newly modified late afternoon/dinner date in
lexington. the late night ironing session left me more tired than i had
realized; rachel napped to leave me with my coffee and unfortunate road
rage-yness. we made it to lexington to find john standing in his front
yard, assuring that we would not pass by his house. we met brother,
parents, and every family pet; we learned about the standing feud
between john's father and their curmudgeonly parrot, george. john took
us on a driving tour of his hometown, and we wondered at the
determination, strength, and rationality of thieves that would steal a
life-size bronze statue of a thoroughbred from a city park. we wrapped
up our brief visit with a dinner at jimmy john's and conversations
about future careers.
rachel and i continued north to oxford,
where we would meet up with john again the next day. though over three
hours
from my apartment, crossing back into ohio was like a tiny homecoming
for me after spending the last seven days in as many states. we were
told that the steel band concert we thoroughly missed was great, and
joined college friends lance and amber for a stroll across campus to
shriver center. i opted against the jaw-dislocating "carmel" apples,
and the four of us eventually drove south to cincinnati. they stayed in
a church
community house with some friends of rachel's, and i spent the night
with old friend and housemate, joy, about a mile or two away. joy and i
caught
up and chatted and conversed until 2:30am, where i drew the line and
insisted it was waaay past my bedtime. i left for oxford the next[?]
morning, picked up
my two free homecoming tickets courtesy of alumni band, and then saw my
friend intisar for the first time in about three years. john joined us
at a former-music-store-gone-coffeehouse later than expected, due to a
snooze mishap. around 4pm, rachel, john and i drove out to the
thurmers, where lance, amber, and our friend james would eventually
meet us as well. the thurmers are like a second family to rachel, and
it is easy to understand why. harvey and jane welcome rachel's various
and sundry friends into their home effortlessly; children will [8] and
marin [6 and 1/2] are boundless and passionate. i learned about marin's
excitement for having dinner guests ["it's a fiesta!"], and from will i
learned a great deal about dinosaurs. dinner was soon served; a time of
friends, feasting, and conversation. kickoff was approaching, and lance
and amber headed to their respective homes while harvey had
self-imposed violin practice. the remainder of the dinner crew prepared
for miami's first homecoming game to be played under lights. at
halftime we crawled all the way up the home stands ["to the tippy
top!"] to get the best view of my beloved marching band. will decided
he wanted to stay for the second half with intisar, joy and i; so four
remained at yager stadium while four went back home in the now
persistent drizzle. will demanded that miami reach the thirty point
threshold, and his demand was answered. the redhawks ended up squeaking
by central florida, 43-7, which will happily relayed to Miami Team
Early when we arrived back at the thurmer's.
sunday morning brought us to a
presbyterian church service and a failed attempt at getting a toasted
roll at shriver center. booooo. the afternoon proved to be an
interesting excursion of cow hunting. no cows were harmed during our
search; they were shot only with cameras. an abandoned barn was also
caught in our crossfire, a barn filled with plenty of dangerous or
possibly dangerous items and pitfalls to adults and children alike. but
more importantly, it was a barn filled with an unknown past and
infinite opportunities for the imagination to run wild. i felt
strangely at home here, remembering the lazy summer days of childhood
spent in similarly unsafe and perpetually intriguing structures. after
an hour [or two?] of bone finding, mansion building, rock tossing and
photo shooting, it was back to the thurmer's. at this point that i was
originally planning on heading home... but i found that i could not
bear to leave these children, these friends, and especially this road
trip behind just yet. rachel convinced me to stay for supper; i went to
my "napping room" to prepare for the three and a half hours i would be
driving that evening. after dinner though, i knew it was time to leave.
i packed up my now oddly empty car, and rachel and i shot the
obligatory final road trip pictures. i hugged, i waved, i honked
goodbye; i headed home.
after essentially living in a car with
someone for over a week, the quietness of driving alone was actually
quite unsettling. once out of cincinnati and its suburbs, on the dark
stretches of highway, i found myself having to accept that the road
trip was over. i made a few phone calls, but for the most part
reflected on this amazing trip and the incredible people i have in my
life. i was interrupted somewhere along the way by a blue mustang who
apparently wanted to play cat-and-mouse. i was highly annoyed. after a
few cycles of passing and being passed, we finally settled into a
groove, with me in the lead and the mustang behind. i was still highly
annoyed, both by its lights in every single mirror [how does that happen?]
and by the knowledge that i was just the fall guy, the one in the lead
to be picked off by any state trooper with a quota to fill. i made
peace with the fact that this mustang might be in for the long haul on
this drive; eventually it became sort of comforting, feeling that i was
traveling "with" someone. two hours later i was nearing home; was this
the mustang's destination as well? sure enough, ol' blue's exit was
only a few miles before mine. i felt like i had to do something to
commemorate our time together. weird. i gave a tap with my brake
lights; would they even care? i'm still not sure if i was surprised
when the mustang responded with a brief headlight flash. it was a
surreal closure to the drive.
finally at home, i unloaded and
unpacked necessities. i fell into bed, exhausted yet energized. thanks,
rachel, for taking me on this crazy trip.
