those of you that know me well [or admittedly, probably even not so well] know that i usually much prefer hanging out with a few people in a quiet setting, as opposed to, say, a rave. but once in a great while i get an itch to invite lots of people over. i would call it a party, but frankly, that would really give the wrong impression. as far as alcohol goes, i believe one bottle of wine and two white russians were consumed, and the rest of the lot was just hopped up on sugary drinks. so i classify it only as a lovely saturday happening.

 

i have found that my apartment currently has proper seating for thirteen people, encompassing couches, kitchen chairs, camping chairs, desk chairs and a beanbag. i mean there is a couch in the spare room which doesn't count since it's not really that mobile, and for that matter i suppose the toilet falls into the same category. i believe eighteen was the peak number of attendees, which is weird because i remember that being the magic number the last time i had lots of people over. so i guess i should just assume that amount in the future? and don't even ask me where everyone parked because i didn't even want to see that carnage in my teeny fenced in gravel lot.

 

after a failed attempt by sarah, kelly and i at organizing apples to apples with far too many people, patrick jumped in and fashioned a game of werewolf [think mafia, if you're familiar with that game] out of my abandoned but awesome deck of round playing cards. there was much killing to be had. on the upswing, you get to take naps between rounds.

 

thanks to everyone for showing up, and for those of you who had better places to go, THANKS FOR NOTHING but i do hope you had fun wherever you were. and my apologies if i didn't get to chat with you much, but i can get a little anxious and distracted as hostess.

 

i'll see many of you bright and early tomorrow [this?] morning.

saw this bumper sticker on my drive to work today.

 

informative, yet vague...

i unintentionally failed to consume any soft drinks today. i'm not sure which is worse: the headache, or the realization of what is causing it.

i received a package in the mail today containing a christmas gift i ordered. and a little something extra from the company. in a small handwritten ziploc baggie. i'm not sure if it's meant to be funny, earnest, or ironic hipster novelty, but in any case, i am amused:

 

 

usually the patient notes in our medical billing system software display generic clinical things like "new med chart xx/xx/xx" or "schedule only with dr. x" or "pt refund sent xx/xx/xx". this one, however, gave me pause today:

 

so i was thinking today in the elevator that it would be really awkward if someone decided to design one lined entirely with mirrors.

depending on how you look at it, i returned home from work today to find either a late 2005 or early 2006 christmas present shoved in my door. i finally used the remainder of last year's gift card from my parents and bought a shiny new pair of these shoes, and i know for certain that kt is reading this and thinking MY GOD WOMAN IT'S ABOUT TIME AND PLEASE I HOPE YOU DON'T GET ANOTHER GIFT CARD THIS YEAR FORCING ME TO SHOP WITH YOU FOR THE NEXT TEN MONTHS. also let it be noted that i am fully aware that these look pretty much like my old pair of brown shoes [which have currently worn through part of the sole, hence the new pair]. what can i say? i know what i like.

 

current attire: previously mentioned shoes, brown thrift store cords, newly acquired thrift store tee. so basically, i'm your stereotypical twentysomething hipster for the night.

vacations are beautiful things. i should have "nothing" vacations more often. because aside from the Having To Actually Wake Up part, i feel pretty okay about the Having To Actually Work Tomorrow part. and thanksgiving was nice. having many aunts and uncles and various subsets of families therein makes for a lot of activity, and, also: automatic portion control.

 

funniest story of my weekend: went to applebee's with the parents on saturday for lunch. somehow we're talking about reunions and our own high school classmates. i ask my dad about some random person he's talking about, and i hear him say, "oh, it's bruce... the guy that runs the porn shop."

 

holy mother of god. i almost drop my fork, somehow manage to swallow my food, and choke out, "excuse me?"

 

"what? you know, the porn shop."

 

no, actually, NO, I DON'T KNOW THE PORN SHOP and are we really talking or am i dreaming this up? at this point i'm staring wordlessly, wondering what on earth just happened to this conversation, not to mention the very fabric of existence as it begins to unravel around me.

 

my mom jumps in as well, and they are BOTH trying to explain. oh god oh god oh god. "he owns the porn shop! he's had it for years... it's right down the road. you passed it on the way in." they're looking at me like i'm nuts, when suddenly, i get it.

 

 

"OHHHHH... the PAWN shop!" my relief is overwhelming. and it is at this point that i notice our server at her computer station adjacent to our booth, across from me, and behind my dad. i catch her eye in my moment of clarity and can see from her barely contained laughter that she has heard our entire miscommunicated discussion.

 

 

i'm not sure if it makes the story better or worse that five minutes later my dad casually mentioned, "and when his first wife was laid up in the hospital for awhile? he sort of turned it into a porn shop." 

i know, i know, i keep posting this site. but hey, it's funny. many mucho archives for your viewing pleasure.