so i've finally gotten, and gotten around to reading, this book [if you don't know what i'm talking about, browse here]. it's quite interesting so far.


    "A story that my friend Carrie shared with me may illustrate. Carrie was two years out of college, living in Minneapolis in a funky, rambling Victorian with six other Christian women. Her boyfriend, Thad, lived down the block. Carrie and Thad were not having sex, but they were doing everything but having sex, including spending the night with each other regularly. And of course none of Carrie's roommates knew for sure that they weren't having sex -- all they knew was that Carrie and Thad spent a lot of nighttime hours together in his apartment. But not one of Carrie's roomies ever asked her a single question about what was going on behind closed doors. No one ever posed a loving inquiry, or a gentle rebuke, or even an oblique offer of an ear. Probably Carrie and Thad's friends were simply made uncomfortable by the prospect of raising the tough issues of sex and chastity. They probably did not want to intrude, or seem nosy.
    But the Bible tells us to intrude -- or rather, the Bible tells us that talking to one another about what is really going on in our lives is in fact not an intrusion at all, because what's going on in my life is already your concern; by dint of the baptism that made me your sister, my joys are your joys and my crises are your crises. We are called to speak to one another lovingly, to be sure, and with edifying, rather than gossipy or hurtful, goals. But we are called nonetheless to transform seemingly private matters into communal matters. Of course, premarital sexual behavior is just one of many instances of this larger point. Christians also need to speak courageously and transparently, for example, about the seemingly private matters of Christian marriage -- there would be, I suspect, a lot fewer divorces in the church if married Christians exposed their domestic lives, ther fights and tensions and squabbles, to loving wisdom, advice, and sometimes rebuke from their community. Christians might claim less credit-card debt if small-group members shared their bank account statements with one another. I suspect that if my best friend had permission to scrutinize my Day-timer, I would inhabit time better. Speaking to one another about our sexual selves is just one (admittedly risky) instance of a larger piece of Christian discipleship: being community with each other.

- Lauren Winner, Real Sex, p. 53

living in today's individualized western society, where relativism is the status quo, these are insanely counter cultural thoughts. outright asking fellow brothers and sisters? about their sex lives? goodness, no. there have been situations with good friends where i toyed with the idea -- part of me did indeed feel the pull, the concern of sharing responsibility for their well-being that lauren points out -- but the part of me that felt oddly voyeuristic about asking such personal questions ultimately kept me from following through.

i could go on but i'll stop for now. anyone out there: thoughts on sex? accountability? community?

wednesday we woke up ridiculously late and steeled ourselves for our last full walking day in boston. planning largely around my knee and stomach, our first stop was copley square, where we were pleasantly surprised. hopping off the T, we were greeted by the stately boston public library and the historically quaint home/structure/memorial of a poet whose name i did not recognize and have now clearly forgotten. we browsed a few stores at the gallery and had some lunch, and then it was back on the T and off to fenway. we found fenway park and wondered how anyone at the high school RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO THE FIELD could ever keep their concentration when baseball season is in full swing. we circled back to the green line and headed off to get cultured. i stopped at the museum of fine arts to rest, while tiff continued on a few stops to a different museum to pick up some brochures for her sister. rachel arrived at mfa and we began to explore. tiff caught up with us by the renoirs, but we all ended up finding our own ways through the labyrinth of rooms upon rooms. we saw a "punk" baby jesus and also lots of [artistic] boobies. naomi arrived and we ended up browsing one collection by damien hirst which included a stuffed lamb encased and conserved in formaldehyde; seven square feet of flies covered in resin; and a large spinning disc splattered with paint with an obnoxiously long title. at this point, we parted ways with rachel for the final time and headed to naomi's for our final night in boston. we ate homemade chili as alias played in the background. we lounged around, hanging out until naomi had to go to bed, for real this time. tiff and i switched on the news and watched, in disbelief, the weather forecasts predicting up to twelve inches of snow in the boston area overnight. we eventually went to sleep, hoping for safe driving conditions for our pending travel.

we woke the next morning to find... wet roads. not a snowflake to be found! relieved, we readied for our last quest. throughout our entire week in the city, it seemed we couldn't walk a block or two without seeing a particular chain[?] of vendors, selling boston shirts and souvenirs. by wednesday tiff and i had decided that we wanted some particular shirts from these vendors; but oddly enough, when this time came THEY WERE SUDDENLY NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. we vowed that on thursday morning, we would venture back into downtown boston and FIND THESE VENDORS before heading back to ohio. we scoped haymarket, quincy market and faneuil hall, various streetcorners, places we had seen these shirt sellers with our very eyes: alas, a plague had befallen them and there were none to be found. sigh. though saddened by this setback, we found suitable replacements in the quincy market and faneuil hall area, and boarded the T for our last time. we packed up my little cavalier, conquered the parking garage machine, and headed for the big dig. now, personally, the thought of driving in boston scares the heebie jeebies out of me [and this was even before i heard that boston drivers are oft referred to as "massholes"]. but tiff had a sick fascination of actually desiring to drive through boston's $14 billion underground highway system, so off we went. driving though an underground tunnel with its own underground exits was weird and slightly disconcerting, but fun nonetheless. we made it through, and after some mild confusion we were on i-90 and heading west. we traveled much of the interstate highway system, driving through massachusetts, connecticut, new york and pennsylvania before hitting ohio. on our last leg of the night, i-80 turned into a toll road. tiff rolled down the window, grabbed the ticket, and we were on our way. however, i noticed some struggle and confusion and a very icy wind. at 9:30 in the evening in thirty degree weather, my window had decided it was tired and was going to stay open, no matter how many times we jabbed the button to go "up". we threw on our coats, scarves, gloves and hats and decided we would stop at the next travel plaza -- fifteen miles ahead -- for some starbucks and hopefully a garbage bag, tape and a plan. we pulled in, thankful for the lack of 60mph winds rushing through the car. and then, inexplicably, the window rolled back to life. "well, we're done," tiff bemusedly announced. we shrugged and continued on to her sister's, where we eventually turned in and had a nice long night's sleep.

friday morning we took our time getting ready, and met tiff's sister at work [a museum] for lunch. after lack of any kind of service at our first try, we ended up at a restaurant where there were actually servers that came right to our table and took our orders [a concept that Restaurant #1 really needs to work on]. we browsed the museum for the rest of the afternoon while tiff's sister had to actually work and stuff. she managed to leave early and we met her at the museum store, where i bought a huge photography book for an amazingly discounted price. afterwards, the evening was spent looking through photos, being entertained by joxyr, ordering out from little italy, and renting intellectually stimulating movies like ice age and harold and kumar go to white castle.

saturday was another lazy morning. tiff's sister cooked us all breakfast, while tiff and i made a starbucks run. after a quick jump in the shower and some final packing, we were ready for the last portion of our journey. we said our goodbyes and headed home. we stopped for gas at some point, where tiff bought a deck of u.s. states playing cards and was waited on by a creepy cashier lady; i bought some good old mcdonald's french fries, which at this point in the trip brought the amount of cash on my person to about forty-eight cents. [mental note: used cash instead of credit card much more often than i would have preferred on this trip.] we were about two hours from home at this point, but for some reason i felt i could have driven forever. we had spent over an entire week together, much of it exclusively so, and we had survived boston and each other and had an altogether amazing time. i didn't want it to end, not only because it would mean the closure of yet another road trip, but also because it would bring us one step closer to the end of spring break/vacation and to the beginning of the quarter/daily grind. ah, but all good things must come to an end... we arrived at tiff's and unloaded, and i drove my now oddly empty cavalier home to give it some rest. as with the famous fall color tour of october, it was a little unsettling to be in the car all alone after so much constant traveling with an ever-present friend... but at least this time, the drive was only ten minutes instead of three hours.

...

and there you have it: the end. a hearty thanks to naomi and rachel, who put up with our crazy schedules all week; and my own personal thank you to tiff, who put up with ME all week. there are a mere handful of people with whom i think i could road trip with and have a continuously enjoyable time; you are certainly one of them. thank you for the incredible sojourn.

and if you've made it this far, dear readers, i offer my congratulations and amazement.

good night.

okay. so. i had to do a complete recap of the week's events during yesterday's walk with tiff before i could continue updating... i'm getting old. [more on that later.] now, where was i? oh, yes... i think part of sunday evening was spent with tiff and i reading at each other from separate boston travel guides, as we tried to figure out what we would visit on which day and when. dinner was eaten at a so-so bar and grill across from naomi's, out of sheer lack of motivation to actually prepare any food.

monday was Information Kiosk Maps Are Your Friend day. we discovered mike's pastry, gawked at the sheer amount of baked goods, and departed quite sugarized and with full tummies. as we both seem to have a bit of fascination with cemeteries, we visited the king's chapel burying ground as well as the granary burial ground. standing among grave markers nearly four hundred years old was almost incomprehensible to me; history becomes tangible. boston common was a short walk from there; then it was off to mit, where theis graciously gave us an informal, and informative, tour of his university. after grabbing a bite to eat and a couple of mit shirts, i proceeded to completely mangle rachel's clear directives; tiff and i ended up at harvard square instead of central square [where, of course, rachel was]. sigh. rachel headed home as we took a self-guided tour of harvard, assisted by a twenty-five cent map bought from a grumpy old man in the harvard square information center. at some point i was struck by the familiarity of harvard's georgian architecture... i felt i was at miami again, walking through academic quad, on my way to shriver to get a toasted roll. [mmmmm... toasted roll.] after taking some snapshots of the grandiose memorial hall, we finally got weekly passes from what i can only assume was a human behind the nearly opaque T booth. creepy. after visiting the stop 'n shop off the green line, we headed uphill to rachel's for a mexican-ish dinner. having moved in only four days before, and still awaiting a roommate and her belongings, we sat in the dining room sans furniture. we marveled at the hilltop view, as well as the staggering amount of shelving from the previous occupant. we ate, we talked, we watched a movie [i will never forget the penis song, and "ca-CAW!"].  discussing our options, we decided to explore taking a new route home. we bid adieu to our gracious host rachel, and discovered for her that the orange line -- and a much easier route to naomi's -- was not so very far from her home. somehow, i was the one that got us there, as tiff's sense of direction had suddenly and inexplicably vanished. this victory was short lived as we heard the announcement that we would have to get off two stops early due to construction and take a bus to our final destination. we tried to resist mooing as an entire train attempted to squeeze onto three buses. i believe our bus took a detour through rhode island and connecticut before finally arriving at naomi's stop. as if our day hadn't been long enough already, we decided to watch old school, long after naomi had settled in for the night. and finally, around 1:30, we succumbed to sleep... oh, blessed sleep.

on tuesday, tiff and i continued our Sleeping In Just A Little Bit Later Than The Previous Day trend. as it turned out, the day we had the nicest weather just happened to be the day we had planned on visiting the beach... perfect. we hopped the blue line to wonderland and headed for the horizon. we decided it would be worth the risk of finding sand particles in our shoes until june to actually walk along the beach instead of just gazing at it from a distance. the firm but yielding wet sand was a joy to our tired feet, unaccustomed to the amount of walking we had done and would continue to do during our time in boston. it was an exquisite and serene beginning to our day. after some camera timer confusion, we headed back into the city. next on the agenda was chinatown, perfectly convenient for my growing hunger and headache. after some unsuccessful attempts at choosing an establishment, a phone call to rachel directed us to pho pasteur's vietnamese restaurant. an excellent recommendation indeed... the ginger chicken practically melted in my mouth. mmmmm. tiff's rice noodle dish was tasty as well, although every three minutes a new ingredient discovery was made ["what is this? was this in the menu description? i can't remember..."]. this time we STAYED PUT, and rachel met us as we were just finishing. the next two or three hours was a blur of shopping including, but not limited to, a visit to filene's basement. [think: reduced price designer clothes "organized" a la old navy clearance areas TIMES ONE MILLION.] the frugality and hopefulness in me was drawn in like a moth to light; but the neatness and thoroughness in me was reduced to weeping in the corner, a mere shell of its former self. so much stuff, so little time [and patience]. we emerged from the basement as if from a bomb shelter: shaken but unharmed. we took pictures for no particular reason with the statue of a man whose name escapes me, met up with naomi at the T [note the kickass shoes] and dined at YE OLDE union oyster house. i experienced my first oysters at the oldest continuously operating restaurant in the u.s., over talk of message boards and blogs and eharmony. rachel headed home while naomi, tiff and i shifted four doors down to the purple shamrock for a drink. the three of us chatted for awhile, and later had a lovely little conversation with tom from the coast guard [don't ask him about expectations, please]. we eventually extracted ourselves from this discussion, and it was on our way home that my right knee decided it was rebelling against the unannounced amount of walking i was asking of it. stopping at a few random stores on the way, i limped my old gimpy self to the T behind naomi and tiff. home once again, i rested my knee and body after another full day on the town.

...

the end is near. but don't worry, it's a good time.

as march afternoons in ohio go, it was a stunning friday afternoon. three-thirty sounded like as good a time as any to skip out on work... and so began my vacation.

after some last-minute errands and packing, i arrived at tiffany's. we packed up and headed north for the first leg of our trip. four hours later, we were greeted on arrival by tiff's sister, brother-in-law, and one very hyper pug. after a bit of visiting, we slept off the long day. rested, fed, showered, and packed up again, tiff and i were off to boston via a slight detour to niagara falls. for the record: holding the phone out to thousands of gallons of water crashing hundreds of feet towards the earth, only sounds like white noise to anyone on the other end of the line. also for the record: you don't seem to need a passport or birth certificate to cross the border at niagara; so just skip the american side photo opportunities and US$10 parking, and head on over to a more expansive view and cheaper parking. and bring a raincoat.

[addendum: it turns out that i am happier with the photos from the american side than i am with the canadian side. there is more depth and less wet mistiness (these photos could have been taken pretty much anywhere, no?). HOWEVER, the actual view, in person, is still more impressive from ontario. this is all just fyi... because i'm sure you all care.]

we made our way back to i-90 and continued eastward, slowly leaving the flatlands and entering more scenic territory. it is somewhere in this stretch -- possibly around schenectady[!] -- that i rediscovered the fun of the "slurpy sloth" voice. if you've seen the movie ice age, you should know what i'm talking about. if you haven't, then what the heck? go rent it, eh? nearing 10pm, we arrive, finally, in boston. after following a series of "slight rights" and "slight lefts" in which street names reinvent themselves for no particular reason [note to rachel: think murfreesboro], we find our friend's apartment building and snag "close" parking [note to locals: if i parked at mcdonald's, this would approximate "close" parking to my apartment]. the three of us cart our things up to naomi's GIGANTIC apartment, visit for a bit, and then crash out in our respective rooms.

sunday morning naomi introduces us to the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority subway -- otherwise known simply as, "the T". we take the orange line to our stop and quickly discover that boston is most certainly a walking city. [not to worry, we are reminded of this daily throughout our week.] after church we connect with rachel [yay!], and it's off to a local pub, where rachel's friend theis meets us as well. i conspicuously request a burger and fries among the sea of breakfast orders, and during the course of conversation it is pointed out that i am the catalyst/connection for most of the relationships at the table. this is surprising to me; not only because i didn't realize it before, but because i don't usually find myself in such a position. also of note: naomi's meal comes with a mysterious british pudding, which looks thoroughly disgusting.

en route to the st. patrick's day parade in south boston [how apropos], we stop at a shoe store, where tiff forsakes her lovely but unsuitable boots and buys a pair of kickass, bright orange athletic shoes... oh, yeah. as we near the parade route, we are accosted by every shade of green, on every kind of fabric, accessory, or toy you might ever imagine. the party atmosphere in southie is fun and relaxed. and involves lots of open containers. we settle in for the miscellany of bands, politicians, military and veteran regiments, along with some other more surprising groups, including but not limited to: a women's tackle football team, a guinness bus, someone in a cock-eyed chicken costume, buddy blood-drop, and a certain festive truck with more than one unhappy child in tow. all in all, a very festive and charming welcome to this city.

after a bit of misdirection, the five of us find the T and rest our weary feet. cameras are pulled and picture taking abounds, and i am taken by the juxtaposition of familiarity and anonymity on this particular subway journey.

...

until i get both some sleep and my pictures back, i'm at a loss for the rest the evening's events. i'm only on sunday?! this might be a longer documentation than i thought.

also, if you were a party to any of these recollections and i missed something, please feel free to add details...

i think there are [and will continue to be, from the looks of things] many unhappy searchers out there, disappointed to find out that "real sex" and "spring break 2005" were not directly related on this website.


someday i hope to do a little bloggity blog on last week's travels...

that would be the miles racked up on my car, to boston and back and all points inbetween.

all in all, an amazingly event-filled yet largely unstructured trip that shall be remembered for years to come. i'm sure glad we went.

time to unpack.

okay, yeah, so i'm not involved in school in any way. but "march vacation 2005" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

tomorrow afternoon begins the long-awaited journey to boston with some very good friends. updateageness will be scarce between the visiting and the exploring and the eating and the sleeping.

have a lovely, lovely week, faithful readers.

caught your attention, eh?

i enjoyed her previous book, girl meets god, in which she recounted her journey from orthodox judaism to christianity. i expect much of the same sharp writing in this presumably frank book [of which there are supposedly nine left at overstock at the time of this entry]. should be an interesting read.

why are we as believers so afraid to talk openly about sex [myself included here]? i DARE you to comment about sex, and/or the lack of dialogue about it in christian circles, on my blog.

*gasp*